Tao: damn
2:19 PM are you available for 30 minutes starting now?
 me: yes sir
 Tao: i'm giong to the bathroom first
 me: 'take ur time'

6 minutes
2:26 PM Tao: hi
  i'm ready
 me: sweet
 Tao: are you ready, is now good for you?
 me: yes
2:27 PM I am eating a bag of jolly ranchers
 Tao: ok good
 me: I feel chill
 Tao: where is your mom
  is she standing behind you
 me: no she is vacuuming our staircase
 Tao: oh, good
 me: it smells like american apparel
 Tao: did your mom tell you she was bidding
 me: yes
 Tao: what did you say
 me: I said 'good', 'I should tweet this'
2:28 PM Tao: sweet
  does your mom read my blog every day
 me: she says she didn't know you had a blog
 Tao: interesting
  she must have found it on twitter then
  does she have a twitter
 me: she is more 'into hipster runoff'
2:29 PM Tao: how does she read people's twitters, thru some kind of feed?
  damn, does your mom think carles is tao lin at all
 me: yes she has a twitter (quantumgrl)
  she doesn't think you are carles whatsoever
 Tao: damn
2:30 PM how did you find hipster runoff?
 me: 'google'
 Tao: what did you google
 me: oh COME ON
  this is humiliating
 Tao: we can talk about something else
 me: I obviously googled 'hipster' because I was fourteen and trying to secure an identity
 Tao: are you going to college?
  damn, fourteen
2:31 PM what college does your mom want you to go to?
 me: wherever I can get in, I suppose
  I don't have good grades
 Tao: your mom has a 3-1 follower to following ratio, seems sweet
  what did your mom say to talk to me about
  your mom censored herself in a tweet: 'BebeZeva You are totally making sh** up.'
2:32 PM me: haha she just said to be engaging and 'control the convestation'
  I told her to type the whole thing out
 Tao: how does she feel about all the 'f words' in 'sfaa,' didn't she buy you that
 me: she's not that conservative
 Tao: do you feel like you are controlling the conversation at all
 me: no, but I like the way this is going
2:33 PM Tao: why does your mom type 'Bebezeva' instead of '@bebezeva,' have you told her about that
 me: I feel like I'm typing in a monotone
  she used to @ me all the time
  and I told her not to so no one would find me
 Tao: interseting
  what is your mom's favorite movie
2:34 PM or a movie she likes
 me: Fargo
 Tao: damn
 me: she also like Quentin Terentino movies
 Tao: damn
  did you see 'where the wild things are'
 me: Of course not
  I hated the book
 Tao: damn, why not
  oh, damn
 me: the book was boring
 Tao: damn
  did you see 'being john malkovich'
 me: people only want to see it because urban outfitters sells WTWTA shirts
 Tao: damn
2:35 PM me: no I haven't but my mom keeps telling me she'll get it off netflix and never does
 Tao: you once tweeted you were writing 2x poem in the 'muumuu house' style, what happened
 me: I did write them but I was afraid they weren't good enough so I never showed them to anybody
 Tao: what were they about?
2:36 PM me: the first one was too metaphorical
  I think muumuu house is about simplicity
 Tao: interesting
 me: it was about walking around in the morning and not usually every being awake in the morning to go walking around
 Tao: damn
  it sounds good
  you shld submit it to muumuuhouse@gmail.com
2:37 PM i see you recently started to follow 'brandon scott gorrell,' what caused you to do that, on twitter
 me: I think you @ed him
  and I recognized him
 Tao: i see
 me: I think I've read his tumblr before
2:38 PM Tao: you once tweeted you would review 'sfaa' on amazon, do you think that will still happen
 me: yes
 Tao: sweet
  do you have a sister?
 me: I am very easily 'overwhelmed' so its hard for me to do things on time
  yes her name is Rachel but I call her Ham
 Tao: how old is she
 me: she is @RachelZehava and she is seventeen
 Tao: 'ham,' sounds derogatory
2:39 PM does it ever 'come up' in conversation how you are way more famous than her on the internet, how does she feel
 me: haha
  she doesn't care whatsoever
2:40 PM her ambitions in life are very different from mine
 Tao: have you received 'offers' after your modeling re 'i am carles'
  what are your ambitions in life?
 me: I think my ambitions involve 'proving a lot of people wrong'
  and being 'extremely relevant' and 'well known'
 Tao: interesting
 me: nothing realistic
 Tao: don't you 'need' a tumblr or something to help you in that
2:41 PM or have you already planned that
  a blog
 me: I feel like I am very verbose and tumblr would limit me
  so I made a wordpress but was too intimidated by it to post anything
 Tao: damn, wordpress
  have you considered blogger
2:42 PM me: yes but I couldn't stand the format
 Tao: do you plan to use this gchat to 'leverage' yoru career
 me: 'possibly'
 Tao: by posting it somewhere for 'mad hits'
  'but where would you post it'
2:43 PM me: not sure, maybe it would be my first wordpress post
 Tao: that would be sweet
  zachary german is selling his gchat w/ my gf 'on oatmeal' on ebay:http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/ eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item= 250516340632&ssPageName=ADME: L:LCA:US:1123
  maybe you could do that
 me: me and my mom were talking about that an hour ago
 Tao: damn
  what was said about that
2:44 PM me: she didn't really know who either of them were, but she saw that you RT'd it and recognized that it was 'relevant'
 Tao: funny
  has she ever said negative things about me
  you can be honest
 me: never
 Tao: sweet
 me: she is surprisingly 'defensive' of you and carles
 Tao: oh, sweet
2:45 PM does she ever comment on blogs
  she has never tweeted @ me
 me: haha she reads her brother's blog
 Tao: what is her brother's blog
 me: its a sarcastic humor blog
  about 'mainstream things'
 Tao: sounds good
  how many hits does it get a day
2:46 PM me: I have no idea, actually
  I think he is on wordpress, too
  its not a big deal
 Tao: wordpress seems 'unseemly' to me
  what did you eat today
 me: hm
2:47 PM and whole foods popcorn
 Tao: i ate oatmeal last night w my gf
 me: and jolly ranchers
  do you eat it together
 Tao: yeah
 me: is that romantic
 Tao: we ate 3 packets
 me: damn
 Tao: i think so, maybe
  seemed unnhealthy
 me: what is the most romantic flavor of oatmeal
 Tao: i could've eaten many more packets
  maybe 'vanilla'
  what do you think
2:48 PM me: something amorous like with cinnamon in it
 Tao: we had cinnomon last night
 me: I think I am really into 'fruit and cream'
  seems really adolescent, possibly
 Tao: would you rather have a lifetime supply of wendy's spicy chicken sandwich or mcdonald's chicken nuggets
 me: wendy's spicy chicken sandwiches
2:49 PM Tao: me too
  seems like i could just eat the lettuce if i wanted to be healthy
  whereas with the nuggets i wouldn't be able to do that
 me: they would get 'srsly old'
  sandwiches have more variety
 Tao: what is your main method going to be, do you think, of becoming 'well known'
2:50 PM me: I am unsure, for my entire life I have wanted to be a writer
  I have always utilized that skill
  but now I feel like I am distancing myself from writing
  even though i don't want to
 Tao: hm
  is there something 'filling' the space where writing used to be
 me: yes, my place in the 'hipster runoff brand'
2:51 PM Tao: i see
  (A small portion of this chat has been omitted for privacy purposes)
 Tao: oh, damn
  http://www.google.com/ trends?q=%22tao+lin%22%2C+% 22hipster+runoff%22%2C+% 22spike+jonze%22%2C+% 22miranda+july%22&ctab=0&geo= all&date=all&sort=1
  what do you make of that chart
2:52 PM wait, this chart is more interesting
  http://www.google.com/ trends?q=%22tao+lin%22%2C+% 22hipster+runoff%22%2C+% 22miranda+july%22&ctab=0&geo= all&date=ytd&sort=1
 me: hahahahaha
  'miranda july'
 Tao: seems like she should be more famous than that
2:53 PM i seem stagnant
 me: totes...
 Tao: seems not good
  do you hve any questions
  about anything
 me: you seem extremely dependent on charts
 Tao: hehe
2:54 PM i don't know how else to judge how my career is going
  charts seem assuring
  our time is almost over
  are there things you want to talk about
 me: I don't think so
  I am glad we talked about muumuu house
 Tao: oh, good
2:55 PM are there more things you want to talk about re muumuu house
 me: I think I just needed some assurance
  that you were interested in anything I have to write
  I feel like my future depends on it, possibly
 Tao: i encourage you to email whtever you write to muumuuhouse@gmail.com
 me: do you turn down a lot of people
 Tao: no
2:56 PM the submission policy says that there aren't submissions
  just that i'll ask people to submit if i feel confident they'll be able to write something that muumuu house would be interested in publishing
  where is your mom right now
2:57 PM me: I hope you will be interested
  she is downstairs
 Tao: thank you and her for participating in the ebay gchat thing
  i hope this chat has been okay with you
  i encourage you to use it to promote your career, if you post it somewhere i'll link it
2:58 PM me: that would be 'greatly appreciated'
  hope we keep in touch
 Tao: sweet
  have a nice night
  it was nice chatting
 me: yes it was
  enjoy your oatmeal
 Tao: thanks
  good night
 me: 'good night'