I am sitting in the backseat of my mom's rented car. In the driver’s
seat is my brother Kent. In the front passenger seat is my boyfriend
Broc. We are drinking Coors Light. Kent is drunk. We are talking
about drugs. Kent says “You don't know me, I'm a mother fucking
badass.” Kent has never been arrested before. He knows every police
officer in town. All the cops “love him.” Kent says he robbed a bar
when he was 14 with his friend Tod. Kent broke the bar’s vending
machine. Kent and Tod ate all the snacks. The robbery was in the
local newspaper’s police report. The report read “they sure liked
their peanuts.” I ask Kent if he kept the police report. Kent says
“Fuck no, are you kidding me? Cops will find that shit.”
Broc talks about meth addicts in Missouri. We talk about our parents.
Kent says when I was born he ran down the street with me in his socks
while our parents were fighting. He says I am his “baby girl.” Kent
says if my mom dies he is going to kill himself. Kent is 29. Kent
lives in my parent’s garage. Kent has 2 cats. Kent has brain damage.
Kent is retarded. Kent is my half brother. Kent's dad died when he
was 6. Kent says he is going to kill my dad. Kent is 9 years older
than I am. Kent says “Let’s get the fuck out of here.” Kent peels out
of our driveway.
We are going to McDonald’s. McDonald’s is an hour away. It is 1:00
a.m. I plug in my ITRIP. I play music I think Kent will like. Kent is
driving fast. I play “The Roof is on Fire” by Bloodhound Gang. Kent
sings along. Kent says “Solders kill fucking towel heads to this.” I
open another beer. We drive past a house. There is a lawn mower in
front. Kent says “Lets fucking steal that shit.” I say “No, there
isn't enough room.” We keep driving. I play “Lump”
by Presidents of the United States of America. The windows are down.
Kent turns up the volume. I am sort of afraid but I feel happy. I
hand Kent another beer.
We pull in to a gas station. I walk in to the convenience store alone. I
am not wearing shoes. I use the bathroom. I buy cigarettes. I stare at
a “Talladega Nights” DVD behind the counter. I get back in the car.
Kent drives away. I play some Nirvana song. Kent says he has to
“piss.” We pull over by a dumpster and a donation box. Kent and Broc
get out. I am smoking a cigarette. Broc gets back in the car. Kent
runs out from behind the donation box laughing. Kent jumps in the car
and pulls away. Kent says “I just took a shit and wiped my ass with a
Spiderman t-shirt.” I wonder if the t-shirt would fit me.
We pull in to McDonald's drive thru. The drive thru window is still
open. The inside is closed. I think this is strange. We are behind a
blue pick up truck. Broc is excited about the McTastey. The McTastey
is the only McDonald’s burger with tomato. Kent calls it a “McNasty.”
Kent says “It gives you the shits.” I order a Double Filet-o-Fish.
Kent says something about pussy. Kent is nice to the fat boy in the
window. Kent says “People like me.” I am eating my Filet-o-Fish. I
peel off each layer of the sandwich. I eat the fish and bread
separately. I eat leftover cheese off the wrapper. We leave
McDonald’s parking lot. Kent is driving fast. We go off the road for
a moment in to some gravel. Kent says “Fuck this car.” I play “Jane
Says” by Jane’s Addiction. Kent sings along. I am surprised Kent
likes it. I wonder if he thinks about the lyrics. I think about Kent
when he had long hair.
We pull in to the driveway. My mom keeps an iron goat on the porch. I
am staring at the goat. We get out of the car. We smoke cigarettes.
Kent asks us if we want to watch a movie. I say “I guess so.”
We go inside. We walk upstairs. The stairs are carpeted. The ceilings
upstairs are slanted. The ceilings upstairs are very low. At the
bottom of the stairs is a door. Kent says “The house is haunted.”
Kent says “I can hear someone jiggling that door knob at night.”
We are in Kent's room. I am sitting on Kent's bed. I am playing with
an American Idol toy from McDonald's. Broc is sitting in Kent's Lazy
Boy. Broc is looking at a Martin Lawrence DVD. Kent pulls out new
DVDs. Kent says we can watch White Noise or Stranger than
Fiction. Kent says “Stranger than Fiction is a smart movie. It
makes me cry.” Kent says “I can relate to these movies.” Kent says
“I am going to die young like my dad.” We start to watch Stranger
than Fiction. I fall asleep.