Apr 2
When I was little, I thought our house had a living room and a dying room. I thought "dining" was another way of saying dying.

May 29
I'd blow a panda if it asked me to in a small human voice

Jun 3
If no mong-babes can be planted and breached as a result of homo-incest, then its tabooity should be reevaluated, re-issued, re-packaged.

Jun 8
Stop trying to make ZZ Packer "happen"

Jul 8
An untitled track on my iTunes, 8 seconds long, at full volume you can barely hear a little girl's voice whisper, "mommy a black dog."

Jul 9
Santa Claus look-alike just whispered for me to "check the missed connections later" and then stepped off of the train

Jul 10
Floating 80 ft high, at 2 mph, face up, eyes closed, head first, down 9th ave, from 66th to 46th, at 7PM, with no one expecting me anywhere.

Jul 13
d'be nice to navigate the internet with double-blinks, short nose-breaths, light teeth-clicks, back of teeth (mousepad), tongue (mouse)

Jul 13
Considered incl. in my will some $$$ to pay someone to tweet something along the lines of "help me find me im scared" for me after my death.

Jul 22
lowercasing the G when you write out the word God makes me think of you in the opposite way of what I think you want me to think of you

Jul 26
I bet Burroughs told Ginsberg to shut up a lot.

Aug 24
metempshycosically put myself in the shoes of waiting jezebel commenter who commented asking why above commenter disliked the movie Magnolia

Aug 31
if I was the guy who recognized the repetitive patterns in Plato's cave, I'd have won $ off the others instead of turning around and leaving

Sep 1
Paid fifty dollars this morning to send a telegram to Italy to the family of a gardener whose mother died. Fifty dollars. Died.

Sep 4
a twitter where no two tweets are alike, no single tweet can ever be tweeted by anyone again, language would grow so strangely

Sep 14
Should have gotten an MFA in waiting for my dealer.

Sep 16
Blowing Rick Ross on mushrooms would be intense.

Sep 21
Dreamt I was a teenager in Spain and was busted spray-painting '[my name] loves [a Spanish girl's name]' on class chalkboard in black paint.

Oct 10
everyone likes to eat a little ass

Oct 13
I keep thinking the ghost behind me goes too far back with the ghost seated right across from me.

Oct 17
the string of words in Elliott Smith's mind that spanned the time between the first stab through his breast plate and the second stab

Oct 17
Tweeting at restaurants is cool because it looks like you're either praying or playing with your dick under the table.

Oct 30
An ashtray made out of the metal plate that Faulkner lied about having in his head.

Oct 30
"One more!" is a humorous thing to scream at a shitty opening band after they tell the crowd they have, "a couple more songs."

Nov 12
People sometimes say, "My God, your eyes," and no one notices. Not even the person who's saying it. They're at their war against us.

Nov 16
what if i was just some little mute dude looking confusedly around the room in the middle of china somewhere