|
< 2:58 AM Brandon: did you meet the chick
3:00 AM me: she texted she would be 15 minutes late
i texted i wasn't feeling social and was going to the library
i ate 6 eggs ~20 minutes ago
Brandon: 2x damn
3:01 AM i finished masturbating
me: im reading raymond carver bio
seems funny
Brandon: was he depressed/alcoholic
me:
'ray confided to carlile that he wasn't working. the resulting
lassitude in turn prompted him to think about traveling to exotic
destrinations or buying new cars or houses'
yes, both
Brandon: damn, interesting
gordon lish
3:02 AM the spectre of gordon lish
me: damn
3:03 AM Brandon: am i still online
3:04 AM me: yes
Brandon: sweet
3:06 AM me: 'back in the states, ray had to face clouds that had formed on his horizon'
Brandon: laying on my side in bed watching southpark through ear buds
me: 'lol'
Brandon: weird
seems like a 5th grader wrote that
3:07 AM me: ' "everybody wants some of my bacon, " ray groused to leonard michaels '
Brandon: damn, lol
he seems like a rapper
me: seems im having a good time
damn
3:09 AM 'in early march, ray read in the evening paper that he'd won a $2000 NEA grant'
'carver considered using the last poem in the book, "drinking while driving," as its title piece'
3:10 AM Brandon: seems like he had a sweet life
3:11 AM me: someone wrote a satire or something
calling his book that was called 'will you please be quiet, please' 'will you shut the fuck up?'
3:12 AM Brandon: when was this bio written
wish i had more new emails
me: it came out last month i think
Brandon: damn
me: he first published a story in esquire when he was 32
Brandon: seems like what i remember of yates
3:13 AM me: imagine a bio where someone's first published story is at electric lit
starting their career
Brandon: bukowski was first published by some shitty weirdly named magazine
me: just sneezed, snot shot out, onto headphones and a shirt
Brandon: damn
3:14 AM are you at the library
me: no, home
Brandon: i keep 'sensing' electric lit is going to give me 1k
me: extra sensory perception
Brandon: i keep 'sensing' it
3:15 AM me: damn
imagining a bio of you
with that
seems sweet
Brandon: tonight seemed 'extra boring'
me: 'brandon informed friends before his acceptance that he had "sensed" it"
Brandon: damn
3:16 AM i thought of a bio of me
seems entertaining
me: seems sweet
Brandon: i made up with gabby
me: brandon spoke of a cross-eyed thai he had 'touched'
Brandon: lol
3:17 AM me: damn, what's status now
Brandon: damn, theyre making an avatar video game
god damn itg
damn
i need a video game system
me: damn
Brandon: i dont know why i didnt ask for that for xmas
me: damn
3:18 AM Brandon: gabby, i dont know
me: he got 2 years probation for lying to get unemployment payments
Brandon: damn
jesus
interesting
is that raymond carver or your idea of my future bio
me: carver bio
3:19 AM Brandon: raymond
im running out of money
me: part III is called 'success and discontent'
3:20 AM Brandon: god damn bitches
me: it cost $38 w/ tax
going to return after reading
Brandon: have you read the herzog book
3:21 AM seems like it might be really abstract
me: no
Brandon: 'sensing ' it
me: i opened it once, and saw a funny quotable sentence, in the style of one i've quoted to you tonight
and shared it with sarah, in a moment
Brandon: herzogo
3:22 AM me: damn
Brandon: herzog titties
me: 'the year 1969 seemed to be more than just the closing act of a decade'
3:23 AM Brandon: i feel unable to comprehend that
a whole year as a closing act
i guess that makes sense
me: damn, feels like i'm 'done' with this bio
just closed it
3:24 AM Brandon: damn
do anything interesting today
?
me: no
3:25 AM i said no
Brandon: invis
yes
the southpark im watching has harrison ford getting ass raped by stephen speilberg and george lucas three times
3:26 AM me: thought 'nice'
Brandon: seems like i want french fries really bad
3:27 AM me: jeffrey heart is coming to nyc ed
ew
wed
gonna eat unhealthy foods with him
i foresee
Brandon: is he moving here
there
me: i dont think so
3:28 AM Brandon: hope black balloon publishes my novel so i have an excuse to go to NY
me: that would be good
3:31 AM just emailed sarah
Brandon: seems like i would have a really good, calm, comforting time playing avatal all night
about what
avatar
me: just normally responding to emails
Brandon: oh
3:32 AM me: hope i can place this short story i'm working on in a major magazine for 'megabucks'
Brandon: have you considered playboy
seems good re failing marriage theme
3:33 AM me: not realy, but ill send there, yeah
Brandon: where will you send
3:34 AM me: yeah when i finish
3:35 AM Brandon: what are the places you will send
me: new yorker, harper's
hm
Brandon: how much do those pay, do you know
me: cant really think of places currently
feel less than 1% chance of success
3:36 AM probably between $2-$4 a word
Brandon: damn
damn so like 12k?
12 to 24k?
me: yeah
3:37 AM Brandon: jesus christ
i had no idea
me: i might be wrong
i'm 'sure' the new yorker is more than $2 a word
Brandon: has lydia davis gotten in the new yorker
me: if i make $20k ill pay for a nyc visit for you
muumuu house funded
Brandon: damn, good
me: i think just a few times
or like once orsomething
3:38 AM Brandon: frederick B
me: i'm feeling 'chipper' for some reason
Brandon: has he been in it, do you know
chipper
me: maybe cholesteral in eggs
Brandon: i thought 'chipper as hell' in a gangster tone
3:39 AM i assume that friends call frederick barthelme 'fred'
never had previously considered that
3:40 AM me: they call him 'rick'
wait
yeah, i'm pretty sure
you were wrong
Brandon: rick
damn, surprising
seems more logical to call him fred
3:41 AM me: it does
fred e rick
damn, only an 'e'
separates it
Brandon: lol
me: bran-don
3:42 AM Brandon: tao
me: gonna go look at electric lit's site
Brandon: me too
3:43 AM those bitches 'better' accept my story
5 stories an issue
seems impossible to get accepted
3:44 AM me: they've spent $10k already paying writers
seems unsustainable
3:45 AM seems you would have an advantage
Brandon: hope i get paid
me: being young
3:46 AM they want to 'make sure that the media gap is bridged in a way that preserves and honors literature'
seems smart to publish a person with an internet presence
Brandon: seems like i have a good chance, yes
i guess
read victoria trotts blog tongiht
3:47 AM saw her face for first time
me: damn
Brandon: didnt realize she had all those photos on her facebook
wondered this whole time
me: damn
Brandon: like a year or something
me: damn
any thoughts
Brandon: seems alright
her breasts look good in the lydia davis photo
3:48 AM me: damn
Brandon: other photos in facebook i was unattracted
your thoughts
me: i feel i have no notable or unexpected thoughts
Brandon: interesting
me: abut that
3:49 AM electric lit
Brandon: what
damn
lit bitches
me: damn, see you called lydia davis old
3:50 AM Brandon: yes, she looked old
she seems old
me: i saw a photo on an old edition of a book by her
once
she looked attractive
Brandon: her level of success doesnt seem to match with her age
seems she should be more famous by now
do you think shes less famous than lorrie M'
?
3:51 AM 'the big LM'
me: she's way less famous i think
Brandon: i felt that too
me: lorrie moore's new novel seems to be a big time seller
Brandon: is it a bestseller do you know
me: she didn't promote herself hard enough perhaps
3:52 AM im not certain, but i think so
Brandon: what do you think about FB v LD in terms of fame
me: damn
maybe about even...unsure really
overall, averaged over their careers, i would say FB
3:53 AM Brandon: i think FB is more famous, he seems more recognized re university things
me: people our age seem to know the name 'lydia davis' more
Brandon: lydia davis
me: seems like a good name
Brandon: lydia davis seems alienated from her peers
3:54 AM without knowing anything about her relationships
me: damn, after reading that, seemed like a 'revelation'
i view her differently
now
sort of
Brandon: seems cool
3:55 AM i saw 'seems chill' in caps
me: have you read 'the end of the story'
Brandon: yes
you sent it to me, bro
3:56 AM me: did you like it
Brandon: yes
there was one part i didnt like
but i liked 90 percent
95
me: what part
damn, megan boyle tweeted a funny tweet
3:57 AM Brandon: damn, i didnt get it,
i dont remember defollowing her
3:58 AM me: meganboyle
during dinner i said, "there is a $20 beef fajis." meant to say, "there is a $20 fee to check bags." Brandon:
the part where she goes on a walk, or something, and talks about the
scenery of the road for what seems like a really long time
me: damn
Brandon: damn
me: i didnt' like that part either
i mean, it was just boring
Brandon: yeah
i felt like i wanted to stop reading the whole time
during that
3:59 AM me: damn
4:00 AM Brandon: i think this person http://twitter.com/MissKimball
is some kind of strange internet robot controlled by a man that uploads
pictures of similar looking blond young girls and maintains her
presence for hits, or something
i stared at information about this person for what felt like a long time feeling very confused
me: i have had strange thoughts about her
i looked her up
she seems to be some person
Brandon: did you see youtube videos of her
they dont make sense
me: she seems real
4:01 AM Brandon: i feel suspicious
me: yeah
i dont know
haven't considered your theory
seems scary
Brandon: yeah
"@lydiadavis Sorry, bro. You don't want to be watching that anyway. It's just stupid guys talking shit the whole movie."
seems masculine
me: would someone do that though
so many sweets
tweets
4:02 AM Brandon:
"@lydiadavis I loved your poem 'sometimes i go places'. Especially the
line 'i will drive to the ocean'. So beautiful, pure and austere."
seems like a highly sarcastic, bitter man pissed off about dealing with
'internet losers' all day would say that
me: i just did somehing
i accidentally tumbld a screen shot of justin's face, instead of something else
Brandon: damn
lol
me: damn, seems funny
Brandon: lol
4:03 AM seems random, like that would happen in another dimension
if it hadnt had happened in this dimension
me: memories of sending you screen shot of porn
damn
4:04 AM Brandon: i thought of making porn with gabby today to make money
me: sounds good
4:07 AM Brandon: my internet went out
so tired of this internet
4:08 AM me: internet being unreliable piece of shit for me
4:09 AM Brandon: Tao: sounds good
Sent at 1:04 AM on Tuesday me: my internet went out so tired of this internet Sent at 1:07 AM on Tuesday Tao: internet being unreliable piece of shit for me me: that's all i said
4:10 AM Brandon: damn
4:11 AM me: damn
Brandon: sup
4:43 AM me: good night |
|
< 4:22 PM me: bro
CRLS: brooo
whatsup
me: chillin in the library
4:23 PM you, bro
CRLS: damn
'nmh'
me: damn
gotta work on my tumblr
4:51 PM CRLS: bro
i'm back
just had grilled chicken and shrimp
me: bro
CRLS: grilled vegetables
me: damn
CRLS: avocado
me: had two eggs, cornbread, nachos, 1 pint blue moon, iced tea, and gaucomole this morning
4:52 PM CRLS: dammn
5:05 PM me: i just thought 'poopyschnickers'
5:06 PM going to poop now
5:08 PM CRLS: damn
5:15 PM me: did it
5:21 PM CRLS: tyte
5:36 PM CRLS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?
me: 'jesus'
5:37 PM CRLS: damn bro
me: damn
CRLS: The future of poetry?
5:38 PM me: damn
5:40 PM CRLS: will go to NYC in late summer/early fall
so we can record our EP
me: damn, sweet
5:47 PM CRLS: dammn
5:48 PM me: pretty 'fucked up'
5:49 PM CRLS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?
watching this video
me: damn, watching
CRLS: damn
5:50 PM think it is a 'big song' or something
me: damn, wtf is this
pass out at 3, wake up at 10
wtf
'are those numbers right'
5:51 PM why would he wake up at 10
confused
5:52 PM just realized this song seems really long
CRLS: seems 'really slow'
me: 'there must be a breakdown' or something
skipped to end
5:53 PM i'm listening to m.i.a. on youtube now
CRLS: damn
me: i feel lost
5:55 PM damn, m.i.a. is 33
i feel relieved suddenly for some reason
CRLS: feel like ur not successful 'until ur old' or something
me: damn she's almost 40
pretty much
feel sad
5:56 PM CRLS: feel like we might be 'ahead of schedule'
according to some artistic standards
5:57 PM me: damn, seems good
keep thinking she's saying 'suck my dick' in this song
or 'ill suck your dick' or something
5:58 PM just keep hearing that
"Arulpragasam's first public exhibition of paintings in 2001 at the Euphoria Shop in Portobello, London, featured graffiti art and spray-paint canvasses mixing Tamil political street art with images of London life and consumerist culture.[18"
damn
6:00 PM damn
feeling so lost
6:03 PM is she saying 'nigger' in this song
feel like i can't ehar anything
6:04 PM listening to a differtnt m.i.a. song, i feel like i'm eating mangos with a chimpanzee
feels okay
6:06 PM wonder if it's ok to put m.i.ia. in ap oem
will she be relevant in 10 years
|
|
< 1:04 AM me: tao lin, high blood alcohol content, possibility of obedience? i dunno
1:05 AM what should victoria trotdo. o may be inerupting. alcoholc
its fu to rollin a chair withewheels'
tao lin maybe busy
ryan gosling brother
drun,
k
1:06 AM 205 am
i mean105
you may be interupting
ellen kennedy
1:07 AM Tao: what's up bro
you drunk bro?
me: jamie german
noooooooo vodka
irish whiskey
Tao: how much did you drink bro
1:08 AM me: too much the most
thignsare confusing
Tao: you should make some drunk comments on people's blogs, bro, that'd be cool bro
me: rbooooobro
whose blogs
everyones
question mark
Tao: you can start with mine if you want
a veyr long drunk comment
1:09 AM me: my head feels spinnninh
Tao: where did you get drunk at
1:10 AM me: in my sisters house, yo
her bizziasmenet.
with so many different alchohols
Tao: she cool with that bro?
me: for sure no, brizzizzo
Tao: or you do it secretly bro
me: secrets are my frizzend
Tao: what's the deal bro
oh cool bro
me: haha
Tao: that's cool bro
me: amused bro
yes
yes
yes
yes
no in contro'
not
control
bro
1:11 AM Tao: just keep chillin bro
me: chinese
CHINK
hhahaha
hehe
hoho
porn
its hard
Tao: yeh bro
no bro
me: hehe'
1:12 AM give me commands, please, bro
Tao: comment sum blogs yo
me: so drunk
Tao: bro, you aint listenin me bro
me: yes ytes i is
Tao: comment sum fucken blogs bro
me: listeni
hehe
tao says
i hope i'm not interupgingsa.
har
dd
kenbaumeanns?
i circle my hadns tolseee
1:13 AM whose blog!1
more durnk,now
full blader
1:14 AM hehehahha
ao is typing!
social inhibitionsare gone from alcholho
Tao: that's funny bro i just read yer comment bro
me: haha, nice bro
sweet
hey tao, tell me what you thinkrbo
no pants, bro
like my dream
Tao: yeah bro cool
1:15 AM hey bro
what's p with yer brother bro
is he in half nelson or what
me: hehehe
Tao: is he ryan gosling or what bro
me: hahahaha
i am laughing, hahahaha
yean mantotally
i agREEE bro
bro is funnym it makes me haha
Tao: what did you eat for dinner bro
me: ummmmmm
fajitas! bro
Tao: shrimp fried rice again bro, you gotta lay off that shit bro
me: yeah totally
fucking dead shriping
shripnp
1:16 AM boshruip
Tao: lay off that fucken shit bro
me: correct manipuklatiioinof a drunk barakc pbama, rbo
manipu;lation
Tao: dont eat anymore fucken shrimp fried rice bro
me: why lay off it do you think
hehe
haha
Tao: or i'm deleting yer shit off muumuu house
me: oh oh
nono
career!!
Tao: i'm goingt o buy kombucha, keep it real bro
me: all day
ffull bladder
oh no
toa is offline
i dont know what ot do
so drunk
what hsoud
i do
1:17 AM ohno
nohno
ocollapaes
r7ah nna
you said
omment iw il dtty
1:22 AM Tao: im back bro
1:23 AM me: oh thank you
Tao: you still drunk bro
me: i was writina ameial
about aloneness
Tao: you alright bro
me: i guess
oonfused
Tao: you seem less drunk bro
me: you alright
really? how
better typing
Tao: yo're not making typos bro
i think you're not drunk bro
me: shold i drink ore vodko.
not drunk
its still hard to type
more vodka wuestion
question
amrk
mark
1:24 AM Tao: i don't know bro, you got broccoli bro
me: nah bro
garpes
grapes
stay ere okay, i have to pee, okay, sta here
Tao: don't eat grapes, you be mixin food groups if you do that bro
me: heheheheehehe
Tao: alright bro
me: funny brp
okay
b e right barkc bro
no toilet parper bro
1:25 AM !
hahhh
qhr HAOUS I shoudl i do
throw pee paper towerls int he trash
?
where did you go or for homuahcba
Tao: paper towels flush bro
me: shoud i drunk more vodka
they do?
o dithpgi ji thought they clog
Tao: yeah bro
me: okay
beright back
more voda?
ka
Tao: no bro, you gota rip it up irst
me: ohoh
oh oh
1:26 AM vodka
?
bro
Tao: use yer brain bro
you gotta pour vodka on the paper towel first bro to loosen up them fibres bro
me: i nat
really!
oh ewally!
Tao: that's the british spellin bro
me: qht ia
qha tia
what is
Tao: rub your ass with vodka i mean
sorry bro
me: hehee
hahah
hohoh
huhuh
Tao: rub your ass not pour it on the towel
me: with vodka?
what bro
1:27 AM confusing broi
muuuuumuuuuuu
hahahahaahaha bro
flush paper towels rbo?
are uyou sober frbo?
Tao: aunt to my nephew, pour that shit on the paper towel bro
me: hahaaha
are you tao lin bro?
Tao: i'm fucken sober bro
i'm drinkin fucken kombucha
i'm sober 'as fuck' bro
me: you seem super bro ish
Tao: no bro, what the fuck you talkin about bro
me: farts smell like fucjk
ing
fcking
bro
1:28 AM hahaa
bro
hehee
pee
wait i dont remember what to do
Tao: i gotta go eat some brococli bro
me: no toilet paper, wait
what shoud ido
Tao: have a good night bro, don't clog that shit,
me: h no
oh no
too drunk'
ohno
broccoli bro
oh no
vodka/? sober bro
1:29 AM i found tissues
1:30 AM al better
Tao: im back bro
me: who are you even, who ven are you
what
you keep leaving
1:31 AM false hope
for poor me
less drunk , perchanve
Tao: i'm ficlom tao lin bro
joy williams bro
me: FICLOM\
Tao: lorrie moore ya'll
me: joy wiliamsi sia bit of a bitch
i read that shit
Tao: so yer parents live in a mansion bro, what's up bro
me: ahahahahhaah
you cause laughter fucking bro
Tao: you rockin that fucken blender bro
i mean
me: what
who
sober?
you drunk>
too?
Tao: that shit bro
1:32 AM the q
i do'nt kno w bro
i'm fucken wasted on kombucha
me: hard to concentrate
hehe
haha
hoho
say some stuff
Tao: broccoli all up in my shit
i got broccilo in y shit bro
me: hehe
that was good
now tell me what to do bro
drunkas a donkey
Tao: so what's up with salman rushdie bro
me: hehe
hoho
haha
onlyr esponse
in my
gaydar
Tao: does he eat broccoli or what bro
1:33 AM me: i dont know who that shit is bro
Tao: you like joy tsing liang bro
me: naw bro
tastes like shit bro
i think
drunk, you are tao lin, ectra speciaio opoitns
Tao: iim eating a fuckin organic fig bar now bro
me: onlty blogs i commented onwas you and z g, rbro
Tao: what did you eat for the 'fast bro
me: uh
Tao: breakfast yo
me: some banana strawberry saslad hit
shit
Tao: i cant use shorthand now bro
1:34 AM what the fuck bro
me: aight thats cool bro
i'm cool with longhand bro
Tao: oh shit bro, banana yeah etc
oh cool bro
me: totally bro
its all cool rbo
Tao: so waht's up with broken social scene bro
me: i m maing snises
i d k
bro
Tao: they got like 3 good songs or what bro
alright, what's up with deryck
me: never listenend bro
Tao: sum41 bro
me: i dk bro
Tao: deryck and avril bro
me: still dk
Tao: wtf do you listen to bro
me: avril la v
uh
i dk
bro
1:35 AM just ramndom shit people tell me to
obedient as bitchatss
Tao: so you listen to beastie boys bro
me: for sure
well
one song
like,
Tao: oh shit bro
me: fight for right party bro
Tao: my shit's jacked up bro
me: whatbro
oh no bro
what hpaenendded
Tao: i boiled that broccoli for not too long bro
i mean i cuda boiled it longer bro
i'me ating hard as fuck broccoli bro
me: yeah, is it hot
bro
hot hard brocc
1:36 AM Tao: it's cold as salman rushdie's career bro
you foollow me bro
me: oh snap nro
totally
bro
i folllow
like i drunk, mpter, fcker
Tao: you got twitter bro
me: i cant remember
i think
i dunrememebr my uisername
you shoudl tell me what to do when i feel bored
bro
Tao: my organic fig smells fucken nasty
me: you seem smart as leonodaro di caropi
1:37 AM dont eat that shitnro
Tao: i told yu to fucken write more fucken stories for fucken muumuu house
me: nasty shit, your intuition, is smart, as hshit bro
too fuckin hard
Tao: oh shit your check's in the mail (by the way, bro)
me: sweet yo
Tao: i mean it'll be in the mail soon
me: i was gonn ask you bro
then i gorget
forget/
Tao: yeah bro, it's cool bro
sorry bro
me: its coool rbo
were friuedna
cause i have sper skilz
i feoret
i forget
why are we griends
Tao: huh
1:38 AM me: i dee kay
less drunk
seekin validaitno bro
keep talkin
Tao: 'dee kay' that's fucken advanced for a drunk bro
bro
me: i kno
im losin it
Tao: what's yer IQ bro
me: idk
Tao: you rockin the 170's bro
me: haa
i dk
Tao: don't tell me you rocken the 180's bor
me: what you rockin'
Tao: don't fucken tell me that shit bro
i dont know bro, that's private bro
me: tell me to drunk more vodka bro
yeah yeah i respect htat bro
1:39 AM ahaha
hehehe
Tao: no bro, 'less that shit's made from broccoli or asparagus
me: hoho
Tao: you like asparagus bro
me: asparags is good as hshti bro
fuckin love that shit, rbo
so fucin fgood
Tao: you ever eat asparagus fried shrimpb ro
you ever shit out an asparagus whole bro
me: haha
no
hahash
no
hyou?
??
????
!!!
Tao: fuck yeah bro
me: whoa shit!
bro!
Tao: that shit came out pristine bro
you know that word bro
me: hahaha
pprisitne?
1:40 AM ficl uyo
Tao: yeah bro
me: ruck yeah
Tao: cool bro, i knewy ou would bro
me: ahahah
Tao: fuck yeah
me: tell me whats goingon
please bro
haha bro
Tao: comment more bor
bro
me: should i drikn more vodka
Tao: hipsterrunoff.com
me: whereb r?
kay
Tao: comment there bro youll get mad hits
you comment a drunk comment you'll get fucken mad hits bro
me: really? sqweet bro
i love hits man
Tao: i got mad hits today bro
me: wait tell me what sgoing on you seem lke you know
Tao: that nymag shit bro
me: really why?
oh yeah
Tao: i gots the mads hits
me: wait is that shit out?
1:41 AM Tao: shits going down bro, shits go down when's the hits go up
you got that bro
SHITS GO DOWN; HITS GO UP
chekc that semi-colion bro
check out that usage bro
me: totally not
bro
good hob bro
you seem really fukcin smar tbro
Tao: that's what i get paid for bro
me: i wish you ould tell e
Tao: i'll drop some similes on them asses
me: what 9 hould od
1:42 AM oh fuck yeah
Tao: tell me bro
you're trying to say something bro
just say it bro
where are you bro
me: i hear your voice
here
Tao: put down that fucken vodka bro
me: here
1:43 AM Tao: and pick up that fucken stalk of broccoli
me: yeah? yeah?
your bassist in private?
where is that voice
vomming from
i have no broccoi
Tao: and raw ginger (if you have it, bro, if not that's cool)
me: pripelets nad chords
Tao: it's fucken tuesday bro
you like obama bro
me: fuck i doint know
he prolly dont exist
1:44 AM FUCKING TUESDAY
i am fat, tell me how to become sexualy attractice
i HEAR YOUR VOICE
i brb i got to get vodka
Tao: never get the double filet-o-fish
opt for single
i got nothing else bro
1:45 AM me: back
aight
i keep that in mind
vodka tastse liek SHIt
your voice left
i am only par tof the plan
hipster runoff
Tao: you eat arby's bro
me: uh, one time llast summer i ate their ruely fries yp
curl fries
they was gppd
you bro
Tao: i fucken want a wok-ful of fries bro
1:46 AM me: yeah?yeah?
we should be firends. shoudlwe be friends. should i runaway to new rok
can i life in your apartment
Tao: i heard the get up kids eat cheeseburgers with extra pickles yo
oh shit bro i get two rooms in feb bro
me: extra [ickles rh
i sleep cohch
1:47 AM Tao: i dont know bro, yeah bor i mean bro
a
me: what
Tao: i'm drunk bro
me: am i still durnk? yeah
really what you drnkbro
Tao: we're fucken brkn bro
i drank almost an entire kombucha im fuckIN DRUNK
me: BROKEN? WHAT? DRUNK COUCH?
chahhahaehe
kombucha iant alhcocol
im an alohcoahclic
my siblings thinkgs i am cool
Tao: it's .05% alcohol you fucking bro
me: hehehehe
hahahaha
1:48 AM oh man bro
Tao: dont fuck with my i dont know
me: you durenk as as fucking drunk homelessbro, bro
its harder to see bro
Tao: this hsits getting long bro
me: serious bro, ican i come live in your house bro
Tao: like salman rushdi'es career
me: yeah yoy read to quit bro
yeah i dont know who he is rbo
Tao: yeah bro, you getting colleg ethough bro
me: porlly, my pare ts want it bro
i am obdeident
1:49 AM hard to see ro
Tao: get that fucken degree, you dont want be digging broccoli out the gristede's trash bro
me: hhehee
ckohmbusha has alchohol breally
what happpened to ellen kennedy
she is the 'shit'
Tao: she's cool bro
me: i like here
Tao: her shit's coming out bro
me: 'e'e
Tao: cool bro
me: yeah for sure
yeah
yeah
Tao: yeah recycled fucken paper bro believe that bro
me: hard to understandor mw
i dunno
Tao: fucking al gore be shitting his suv
me: yeah yeah
1:50 AM asshits bookcs
algore dickeran
or something
i hope i'm not interi[tong
i need to know what to do
` 50 am
Tao: its cool bro
me: coool bro
Tao: you like eminem bro
me: hhawhwta what
Tao: you like brandon scott gorrell bro
me: what what
explain bro
smart bro
Tao: be part of the lit scene bro
me: yo rsmart nro
smart
1:51 AM bro
how bro
tell me how bro
muumuu
drunk bro
fuckin drunk
richard yates
offline>
Tao: salman rushdie doesn't get a fucken fatwa sitting on his ass in his sister's basement drinking vodka ass shit bro
1:52 AM me: haha
what
dehydtated
Tao: my internet's fucking being a updike's career re nymag circa [his last book]
me: fatwa was my friend from central highschool
i dont get tit
tell me what to do
mabe
obo, 8
innobox, 7
1:53 AM Tao: bro
you emailin g bro
me: i reallyl llike brandon s gotrreel, smar, ass
hu?what?
tell mwe hwat to do, exlcalmationpont
Tao: comment on that hipsterrunoff shit
me: drunkest ever
i dudi i didi
1:54 AM Tao: comment some more shit bro
you ever shit your pants in a store bro
i shit myself and flushed my american apparel underware down the nyu library's toilet
1:55 AM me: haha fo real bro?
i went to americna appaerel but securty seemed toght
seriusouly wha t shoud i dio
i thinkhumans are happy in commiunity, working on thingstoketget.
o am goingto runaway to our house in nw york, okay? os that okay?
1:56 AM bro.
Tao: i hate humans bro
yer cool bro
me: what?
wjat?
yu hate us? hay? why iam i cool?bro?
you qre funnny br
telll me wyty
Tao: no bro i fucked up
1:57 AM me: yeah? hoiw? whty?
Tao: one seond bro
me: kay
kay
Tao: i'm with humans bro
me: kay
w here
how
ik dmsmironff
iam smirnoiff
smironoff
smirnofff
Tao: im here bro
im in my livin room bro
me: i spelt it riht
yeah is it good
bro?
wes bros.
1:58 AM bro
Tao: im living it up in fuckin bush wick brooooooooo [all o's except first in high itched voice]
we're bros
me: yeah. i will go live in yo aparatement
. okay bro?
Tao: fucken brec
me: huh
Tao: beck bro
bro my life sucks bro
i turn aorund i see broccoli, i turn around again i see a stapler
1:59 AM me: but you rich
z german
v trott
we like you
what do you want?
eh
heheh
hahah
ego
Tao: i'm rich but these jets aint fuckin affecting my happiness level you see bro
me: jets
huh
im drunk
Tao: i got five jet skis but they fucken make me depressed when i'm riding all five in rotation alone
me: canilive in you apartement
mm
mmm.
yeah bro
2:00 AM i aint ecpereiencesc. bu tiot ameks sense.
Tao: you like lizards bro
me: SO FUCIN DRUK
ywa sure
Tao: they're ool bor
me: they seem good
Tao: i dont know bro , they seem kinda shitty sometimes
i gues they okay
me: an ig o to ur aparemtne and hide from my parwnts
Tao: dont wanna genrealizat you know
i guess they ok
me: so drunk
eneralize/
????!!!!!
dehyrdrate
Tao: concrete reality bro
2:01 AM me: most crunkEVER!
YES
Tao: concrete rezeality bro
me: what about it
tell me what
Tao: ti's there bro
2:02 AM me: here? here? can i got o your apartement /. tell me wjat ot od
do tell me whattodo
Tao: bored of life bro
me: yeah you izzz bro
Tao: yah man bmove to nyc
me: to your apratmenet bro
16 rs old
Tao: barnes and nobles here be fuckin wack as fuck
it's cool bro
me: hehehahaha
can i please
cna i lp[ease
Tao: those salma rushdies be filling them fuckin shelves like asparagus fills my toilet
2:03 AM me: i cant conctrol myself
i willm ove tyo yiour partment
sex with msomeon
someone
you okay?
Tao: i dont have sex yo
i have fucken toasted whole wheat baguettes
me: ikno,w i ko, i know, seems obvious
2:04 AM Tao: i boil a fucken broccoli with this shit over it
(will take too many words to explain)
2:05 AM you comment on hipsterunoff bro, link that shit me bro
2:06 AM why you email me 'what' (subject: 'what') bro i'm on chat bro, you be switchin formats or osmethin bro
me: tao ling?
lin
Tao: yah lin
me: i have to pee
! 2:07 AM wil ou be here
Tao: descendent of frank lin of the east chinghua province in upper northeast mogonalia yo
me: willl you be here in 3 min
ewLLY
COOL
Tao: 95% chance o that bro
me: ka y
beirghiback
2:09 AM i would love to live i nyi
nyc
Tao: im with humans bro
me: yeah? wh ois they bro
2:10 AM wh ois
who is
Tao: jeffrey and sarah bro
me: i dynno hte m
they cool
Tao: hits arent rising bro
oh shit i mean sales arent' rising bro
hits are rising
scratch that
me: why no
Tao: sales arent rising
me: kzy
kay
wh no
2:11 AM m i smart
Tao: yea
yeah bro
me: ahhahhhahhahahahhaaah
DR YNK
DRUML DUML REMML DRUNK L
IO WI L GO LIE WITH YOU
SMO DRUNK
Tao: i'm broing it up with some bros
2:12 AM on gchat
fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk bro
kmy fucken blog posts aint consistent anymore bro
shit be inconsisten
2:13 AM i'm going to do somet shit in the ktiche bro
keep it real, keep those dialogue tags neutral bro
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< 4:47 PM me: my leg and hip pain intensified today, i feel crippled by hip pain instead of loneliness now, i'm seeing a doctor
Zachary: thats funny
a lot of buttons on m ky my keyboard dont work
4:48 PM like delete
me: i want to be crippled by loneliness not hip pain
4:49 PM Zachary: thats funny
i dont know
4:50 PM you hvave a thing
like a war or cancer
its different
i donno
ou know you will feel better or something
dont you walike that
me: i feel uncertain about the future of my hip, some part of me believes it will never get better
4:51 PM st vincent's hospital's website is 'fucking shitty'
4:52 PM Zachary: st vinecnent
4:57 PM me:
i now know how people with amputated limbs or chronic pain from cancer
feel like, i can write a chronic pain from war injuries post iraqi war
novel now
5:02 PM Zachary: do you anticipate your book doing well because fo bulevima ebeing a social issue
5:03 PM me: yes, i think
i mean
no
i don't know
Zachary: i feel like it will
me: god
good
Zachary: people will think it has social merit
your book
me: oh, good
Zachary: like go ask allice
me: what happens in it
what is the social thing
Zachary: its about drugs
5:04 PM me: i feel my book is really ultimately life affirming
because the characters are trying to be good
distinguishing it from other things that involve bulimia or something
Zachary: i didnt mean ti wasnt that
5:05 PM me: i was just saying other stuff
Zachary:
i just meant for people that usually wouldnt like literary fiction for
th reasons you or i would might like it for its social thing or
something
me: yes, i agree
Zachary: fuck my keyboard
me: i just thought 'it also has war in it' which isn't true
i thought it had some war, like vietnam
Zachary: i just chortled
5:06 PM i ogot second life yesterday i dont nknwo how to use it
do you have second life
me: it would be really funny if you wrote a vietnam war novel
no
does it have graphics
Zachary: yeah
it looks like 2asfadsgsg 5 o r 8 years ago
me: it sounds shitty, like i dont want to look at it
Zachary: you get to make the girls take their clothes off
and fly
thats all i do
5:07 PM me: i heard you have to buy a penis
Zachary: oh,
i dont know
5:15 PM me:
i think i'm going to get nyu alumni gym membership and swim regularly
in tight swimming short things like the american apparel underwear
5:26 PM Zachary: good
i want to swim |
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< 3:12 PM Madore: Give me your address in PA or let's meet up at some point or something
me: no, i dont meet people
Madore: You met fucking Carol Novack
me: by accident at a reading |
|
< 11:58 PM Jamie: hi 11:59 PM me: hi am i invisible right now? on gchat Jamie: um no you are not i meant to say hi to someone else me: oh i thought it said i was Jamie: sorry but hi i guess 12:00 AM me: oh ok hi Jamie: ok me: i meant to be on invisible, i am going on invisible 'good night'
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< 8:10 AM Noah: you are there or you not there no one is there
silence crickets
me: mm
Noah: a rattle snake scurries across the carpet
me: brandon is here
Noah: you read that book i posted
me: oh
yes its good
Noah: is it okay
8:11 AM me: i read an excerpt to my friend aloud
i tried to emulate your voice he laughed alot
we could barely get through it Noah: no one will publish it because there is no sex and does not list music bands
me: not because of the voice emulaton
because of the content hm
write a section on sex that would be good
Noah: they say, "give me sex and music band names"
8:12 AM me: write a section on sex
Noah: noah cicero eats donkey shit and jerks off on his mother's face
me: just
insert sex scenes Noah: sex pistols romones
you spent time with tao lin how was thati
i have spent time with tao lin 8:13 AM me: it was comforting
Noah: yes good word
he doesn't talk much me: how did you like spending time with him
no he doesnt Noah: it was nice
he doesn't talk much me: i was a little scared
but i understood Noah: he told me my feet smelled and i will never get laid because my feet smell
and then he sprayed perfume onm y feet me: he told me
8:14 AM i had nice shoes we watched a movie
on my couch Noah: like the whore in the bible
me: mary
Noah: no
me: mary magdeline
8:15 AM Noah: when jesus goes to see the sanhedren, a random whore comes in and washes jesus' feet with perfume
me: that was mary
and then she dries his feet with her hair Noah: who knows
me: i think i remember
Noah: yeah,, that is really dramatic
me: i always thought
that was strange 8:16 AM Noah: there is some really dramatic shit in the bible
campy me: there are good battles
there is one where someone, a guy, he has to hold up his arms
and wherever his arms are pointing, the soldiers in that direction will start winning
8:17 AM but if he drops his arms or points them in another direction they will start losing
Noah: i dont' recall that part
old testament me: i dont know where it is
Noah: ?
me: maybe its there
i just remember being taught things Noah: are you jewish
i'm not jewish me: i am nothing
8:18 AM but, my parents made me go to church as catholic when i was young
it was stupid, they they didnt even believe in it
but they made me go for some reason Noah: you live in seasttle
correct me: yes
Noah: have you been to eugene oregon
me: no
Noah: i've been there like four times
i like it there 8:19 AM me: should i go there
Noah: have you fucked any of the suicide girls
i don't know me: mm
Noah: seatttle might be nice
me: i kissed one i think
Noah: that is awesome
me: it was before suicide girls got big
so its not as cool now
Noah: no itis cool
me: seattle is ok
i dont know 8:20 AM taos post about me gave me like 5000% increase in hits
Noah: he gets 800 hits a day
he is like blog god me: i know
8:21 AM that is crazy insane
Noah: do you have stat coutner
me: yeah
i am looking i get like
20 a day
on average Noah: i get like 200 to 300
me: i saw yours
tao showed me when he was here 8:22 AM Noah: i'm not blogging until soft skull tellls me if i am goiing to be famous or nott
me: who
who is that Noah: soft skull
that indie press me: where did you get the diet pill speed
where did bernice get it Noah: mega t
from bernice me: i cant fined it
i went to like 3 stores
Noah: rite aide
me: rite aid.
ok Noah: you like diet pills
me: i will go tehere
8:23 AM i dont know i am bored
filling a void Noah: do you work or go to college
what do you do me: i need to finish my novel
Noah: to fill the days
you are writing a novel me: i go to work writing bullshit things
Noah: what is it about
what is your job me: writer
the novel excerpt its on my blog
tao tao made a post
look at his blog to see more 8:24 AM my job is to write things like
Noah: okay
i have two days off me: "discover the feeling"
thats good Noah: i work today
then two days i work to make the money
to get the lap dances to get the boners
8:25 AM me: i dont know
what about that you cant fuck them
i got mad about a lap dance
Noah: no that is good
me: i dont like them for that reason
Noah: fucking people can get complicated
they are in your house and saying stupid shit
me: ha
Noah: you don't want to hear
8:26 AM me: forget the other things
Noah: and you are like, "fuck, this bitch won't shut up." or they are fucking you and they start talking about when their uncle fucked them
me: you have a boner
Noah: and a lot of people want to ahve an emotional investment
me: you can not act on that boner
Noah: not right now
the boner will go away me: but
it was there for a reason
Noah: go home masturbate to inernet porn, it is a lot safer
me: to have sex
Noah: internet porn cannot get pregnant
me: the boner doesnt think that
8:27 AM i dont know lap dances only make me frustrated
i only had like 2
Noah: i've had many
they get better as time goes by 8:28 AM you realize you are getting older and it is safer to pay for love than actually to deal with it for free
i'm weird though, and i gotta go, it was nice talking to you
thank you for reading my book me: have a good day at work
yes yore welom
8:40 AM Noah: i read the excerot
excerpt i like it
do you read kathy acjer acker
8:41 AM me: mm
no what did she write
thank you for the compliment
Noah: black tarnatula
she is good she is dead now
me: i havent heard of it
shes dead i will get it
i will steal it 8:42 AM Noah: yeah
i'm goiing to read your blog more me: ok
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