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< 4:47 PM me: my leg and hip pain intensified today, i feel crippled by hip pain instead of loneliness now, i'm seeing a doctor
Zachary: thats funny
a lot of buttons on m ky my keyboard dont work
4:48 PM like delete
me: i want to be crippled by loneliness not hip pain
4:49 PM Zachary: thats funny
i dont know
4:50 PM you hvave a thing
like a war or cancer
its different
i donno
ou know you will feel better or something
dont you walike that
me: i feel uncertain about the future of my hip, some part of me believes it will never get better
4:51 PM st vincent's hospital's website is 'fucking shitty'
4:52 PM Zachary: st vinecnent
4:57 PM me:
i now know how people with amputated limbs or chronic pain from cancer
feel like, i can write a chronic pain from war injuries post iraqi war
novel now
5:02 PM Zachary: do you anticipate your book doing well because fo bulevima ebeing a social issue
5:03 PM me: yes, i think
i mean
no
i don't know
Zachary: i feel like it will
me: god
good
Zachary: people will think it has social merit
your book
me: oh, good
Zachary: like go ask allice
me: what happens in it
what is the social thing
Zachary: its about drugs
5:04 PM me: i feel my book is really ultimately life affirming
because the characters are trying to be good
distinguishing it from other things that involve bulimia or something
Zachary: i didnt mean ti wasnt that
5:05 PM me: i was just saying other stuff
Zachary:
i just meant for people that usually wouldnt like literary fiction for
th reasons you or i would might like it for its social thing or
something
me: yes, i agree
Zachary: fuck my keyboard
me: i just thought 'it also has war in it' which isn't true
i thought it had some war, like vietnam
Zachary: i just chortled
5:06 PM i ogot second life yesterday i dont nknwo how to use it
do you have second life
me: it would be really funny if you wrote a vietnam war novel
no
does it have graphics
Zachary: yeah
it looks like 2asfadsgsg 5 o r 8 years ago
me: it sounds shitty, like i dont want to look at it
Zachary: you get to make the girls take their clothes off
and fly
thats all i do
5:07 PM me: i heard you have to buy a penis
Zachary: oh,
i dont know
5:15 PM me:
i think i'm going to get nyu alumni gym membership and swim regularly
in tight swimming short things like the american apparel underwear
5:26 PM Zachary: good
i want to swim |
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< 3:12 PM Madore: Give me your address in PA or let's meet up at some point or something
me: no, i dont meet people
Madore: You met fucking Carol Novack
me: by accident at a reading |
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< 11:58 PM Jamie: hi 11:59 PM me: hi am i invisible right now? on gchat Jamie: um no you are not i meant to say hi to someone else me: oh i thought it said i was Jamie: sorry but hi i guess 12:00 AM me: oh ok hi Jamie: ok me: i meant to be on invisible, i am going on invisible 'good night'
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< 8:10 AM Noah: you are there or you not there no one is there
silence crickets
me: mm
Noah: a rattle snake scurries across the carpet
me: brandon is here
Noah: you read that book i posted
me: oh
yes its good
Noah: is it okay
8:11 AM me: i read an excerpt to my friend aloud
i tried to emulate your voice he laughed alot
we could barely get through it Noah: no one will publish it because there is no sex and does not list music bands
me: not because of the voice emulaton
because of the content hm
write a section on sex that would be good
Noah: they say, "give me sex and music band names"
8:12 AM me: write a section on sex
Noah: noah cicero eats donkey shit and jerks off on his mother's face
me: just
insert sex scenes Noah: sex pistols romones
you spent time with tao lin how was thati
i have spent time with tao lin 8:13 AM me: it was comforting
Noah: yes good word
he doesn't talk much me: how did you like spending time with him
no he doesnt Noah: it was nice
he doesn't talk much me: i was a little scared
but i understood Noah: he told me my feet smelled and i will never get laid because my feet smell
and then he sprayed perfume onm y feet me: he told me
8:14 AM i had nice shoes we watched a movie
on my couch Noah: like the whore in the bible
me: mary
Noah: no
me: mary magdeline
8:15 AM Noah: when jesus goes to see the sanhedren, a random whore comes in and washes jesus' feet with perfume
me: that was mary
and then she dries his feet with her hair Noah: who knows
me: i think i remember
Noah: yeah,, that is really dramatic
me: i always thought
that was strange 8:16 AM Noah: there is some really dramatic shit in the bible
campy me: there are good battles
there is one where someone, a guy, he has to hold up his arms
and wherever his arms are pointing, the soldiers in that direction will start winning
8:17 AM but if he drops his arms or points them in another direction they will start losing
Noah: i dont' recall that part
old testament me: i dont know where it is
Noah: ?
me: maybe its there
i just remember being taught things Noah: are you jewish
i'm not jewish me: i am nothing
8:18 AM but, my parents made me go to church as catholic when i was young
it was stupid, they they didnt even believe in it
but they made me go for some reason Noah: you live in seasttle
correct me: yes
Noah: have you been to eugene oregon
me: no
Noah: i've been there like four times
i like it there 8:19 AM me: should i go there
Noah: have you fucked any of the suicide girls
i don't know me: mm
Noah: seatttle might be nice
me: i kissed one i think
Noah: that is awesome
me: it was before suicide girls got big
so its not as cool now
Noah: no itis cool
me: seattle is ok
i dont know 8:20 AM taos post about me gave me like 5000% increase in hits
Noah: he gets 800 hits a day
he is like blog god me: i know
8:21 AM that is crazy insane
Noah: do you have stat coutner
me: yeah
i am looking i get like
20 a day
on average Noah: i get like 200 to 300
me: i saw yours
tao showed me when he was here 8:22 AM Noah: i'm not blogging until soft skull tellls me if i am goiing to be famous or nott
me: who
who is that Noah: soft skull
that indie press me: where did you get the diet pill speed
where did bernice get it Noah: mega t
from bernice me: i cant fined it
i went to like 3 stores
Noah: rite aide
me: rite aid.
ok Noah: you like diet pills
me: i will go tehere
8:23 AM i dont know i am bored
filling a void Noah: do you work or go to college
what do you do me: i need to finish my novel
Noah: to fill the days
you are writing a novel me: i go to work writing bullshit things
Noah: what is it about
what is your job me: writer
the novel excerpt its on my blog
tao tao made a post
look at his blog to see more 8:24 AM my job is to write things like
Noah: okay
i have two days off me: "discover the feeling"
thats good Noah: i work today
then two days i work to make the money
to get the lap dances to get the boners
8:25 AM me: i dont know
what about that you cant fuck them
i got mad about a lap dance
Noah: no that is good
me: i dont like them for that reason
Noah: fucking people can get complicated
they are in your house and saying stupid shit
me: ha
Noah: you don't want to hear
8:26 AM me: forget the other things
Noah: and you are like, "fuck, this bitch won't shut up." or they are fucking you and they start talking about when their uncle fucked them
me: you have a boner
Noah: and a lot of people want to ahve an emotional investment
me: you can not act on that boner
Noah: not right now
the boner will go away me: but
it was there for a reason
Noah: go home masturbate to inernet porn, it is a lot safer
me: to have sex
Noah: internet porn cannot get pregnant
me: the boner doesnt think that
8:27 AM i dont know lap dances only make me frustrated
i only had like 2
Noah: i've had many
they get better as time goes by 8:28 AM you realize you are getting older and it is safer to pay for love than actually to deal with it for free
i'm weird though, and i gotta go, it was nice talking to you
thank you for reading my book me: have a good day at work
yes yore welom
8:40 AM Noah: i read the excerot
excerpt i like it
do you read kathy acjer acker
8:41 AM me: mm
no what did she write
thank you for the compliment
Noah: black tarnatula
she is good she is dead now
me: i havent heard of it
shes dead i will get it
i will steal it 8:42 AM Noah: yeah
i'm goiing to read your blog more me: ok
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