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EXTREMELY HIGH IN DARK ASS ROOM
JORDAN CASTRO


felt a desire to 'create something,' i think, or 'write down' 'this moment' so i can remember it or 'use it' for art

didn't want to anything, i don't know

decided to 'resign' to emailing you after visin began blurring

vision is almost entirely blurred

it feels like i'm staring blankly through the eyes of a smaller head in my head, through 'the screen' of my 'outer face'

like my hands and the laptop feel very far away

it feels like i'm wearing a headband but i'm not

ziggy and evan are sleeping

ate 3x packet 'gusher's' & 2x packet 'scooby doo' gummies

still seem to feel the sugar on my teeth...

i am squinting

my legs feel like... enormous and warm and tingly

a blowjob would be good right now

'this is the time for a blowjob,' i think as i squint my eyes at the screen and feel nauseus

i just closed my eyes and allowed my head to 'roll back,' hitting the wall

just... did it again on accident


just saw the word "YES" flash in front of my eyes in pink neon lettering
my blinking feels slow and 'fuzzy'

feel paralyzed and retarded a little

just thought 'analyze me past now bitch!' in an irish accent, i think

my body feels slow... eveyrhtig is moving slowly

just thought "i don't know what is going on at any given moment, none of us do" in a manner like i was thinking of me saying it, i think

kekekkalooooooooo nigga!!!

nigga nigga fuh cakaka cooky lala boondychacha

things don't feel easier or better, in slow motion, they just feel different

i feel like i'm breathing underwater, or being born, maybe

i feel like i can go many hours without thinking about anybody but myself and maybe mallory

or like days or maybe weeks

i don't know


bricksquad, bricksquad - everything is brick squad

i feel like a rap star

my life this past week has felt like a rap star, a little, i think

stared blankly ~1 min then 'realized' i waas thinking [something i just forgot.... tried to remember ~2 min]


mass confusion

forgot a lot of things about my life, like, it feels like only a really small portion of things gets remembered,,, like... i don't know, nothing like, makes me sad anymore, ,like, that used to make me sad ('mad me' sad./..)

i feel like a struggling like, fish or something

sorry i typed so much

keep thinking something like "i'm so high" then "what the fuck" or "where the fuck.../" or [somthing else]