just finished my last day of high school
perceived @mallory_whitten from a distance larger than the actual distance between us and heard her say 'i don't know how to formulate this'
just want to write a book so good that all of my behavior is excusable
slept ~3 sec and woke experiencing a distinct, real-seeming memory of me telling a stoic, native american man to 'leave my cars alone'
thought 'i look too good to be doing this shit' while laying in fetal position on bedroom floor and crying
feel like a broken-but-fixable robot whose owner can afford to replace me but hasn't yet
feel like a weird, retarded sea urchin with an abnormally long neck who sees things ~6% slower than all other sea urchins
imagined eddie murphy floating in a park with a turtle shell on his back
~5 min after feeling 'amazing', began eating carbs, watching tv, and thinking 'hellish' thoughts in an earnestly involuntary-seeming manner
imagined a 'droid x' with a 'mr. potato head' type face repeatedly bang- ing its head against the wall, saying 'mown jah loh mon eselom'
diarrhea anne frank
just stood up, lost 'all control' of left leg and fell into an arcade game, making a loud noise and 'yelping' #xmenlivetweet
man in theatre rhythmically 'yelped' 3x and i immediately assumed he was lonely and worked in a cubicle #xmenlivetweet
thought i thought 'i can't feel my legs' 3x then realized an xman said it...#xmenlivetweet
noticed myself re-thinking all emotional thoughts in a 'beyonce style vibrato' for an amount of time then kept doing it 'for fun,' alone
feel like a 50 y/o man reflecting on his life in a severely detached/disinterested manner while sitting in his cubicle and staring
closed my eyes and imagined a stoic, strong-seeming native american face moving slowly 'into my face'
thought the bathroom fan was a radio playing a 'kiss-esque' song with lyrics 'let's go, oh yeah, put the belly on, i'm in the woods'
'see you', as a typed salutation, seems weird/insane to me, but 'see ya' seems perfectly normal...
if 100 people retweet this i'll earnestly try to rip my penis off in a video
idly yearned for the universe to 'have a blanket' to cover me/my surroundings with when i'm awake at 5AM, alone, looking at facebook...
feels like i'm breaking into random houses in 'broad daylight' and 'rummaging around' for 'happiness'
can't remember what a living turkey looks like...
want to express that 'despite how depraved/sad/mean i might seem, i'm actually, in fact, quite [something]'...
saw an obese mom and 5x obese children in running outfits eating meatball subs around the trunk of their mini van
thought 'pound time' excitedly while staring at a pile of muffins and a cake
there are things i can change in my concrete reality to feel less bad but for some reason i feel completely unable to change them
my brain feels like a firm, square container holding something rumored to be 'magical' but in reality is just weird and unwieldy
seems like 'even my death' will be an untimely/annoying accident
feel paralyzed by both 'feeling truly alone in the world' and 'being able to do anything because of being alone'...
today is the first day of my freshman year of college