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EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT THE DALAI LAMA
MIRA GONZALEZ


the dalai lama is a high priest in the gelug or 'yellow hat' branch of tibetan buddhism

the dalai lama sometimes accidentally refers to this as 'big hat buddhism'

the dalai lama likes to repair watches in his spare time

the dalai lama has 5,148,667 followers on twitter and follows 0 people

the dalai lama once wrote a rap song in which the only lyrics were 'i have 30x more twitter followers than eckhart tolle' and 'lama lama lama lama lama lama'

the dalai lama is bald

the dalai lama has several undiagnosed personality disorders

the dalai lama steals ~3 grapes every time he goes to whole foods

the dalai lama is addicted to MDMA, LSD and DMT

the dalai lama has never told a knock-knock joke

the dalai lama is severely allergic to fabric softener

the dalai lama's google search history includes: 'what are bath salts', 'watch breaking bad online' and 'rick ross'

the dalai lama has seen all 4 shrek movies

the dalai lama has a foot fetish

the dalai lama doesn't know who kanye west is

the dalai lama has ignored 5 phone calls from his mother this week

the dalai lama openly 'shit talked' oprah during an interview with the new york times in 2010

the dalai lama sometimes listens to audio recordings of people chewing on carrots

the dalai lama has never had a sunburn

the dalai lama once licked a cactus because he thought it was fuzzy

the dalai lama doesn't know how to check his email

the dalai lama believes that france does not actually exist, and that what most people believe to be 'france' is actually eastern spain

the dalai lama claims to have seen the loch ness monster

the dalai lama is terrified of dogs

the dalai lama once earned 60% on an online trivia quiz about his own life

the dalai lama is physically incapable of winking