i was waiting for the bus outside of my high school with my cousin sydney

some girl was kind of chasing or trying to herd the buses as they came in, i started laughing and said ‘oh my god’

sydney said ‘that is katrina gull, that is the girl who brought a knife’

on the first day of school katrina gull had brought a knife on the bus and was suspended until the day i saw her chasing/herding buses

she was shorter and had more body fat than me

she wore purple glasses and had greasy hair

she carried a big lunch box that seemed like it was a mini cooler or something

she got on the same bus as my cousin and i

her stop was before ours

why was she carrying so many books

when sydney and i were walking home i said something about how we should talk to her, it would be funny and maybe she is a vampire

sydney said once katrina saw her cat at the bus stop and said ‘you must be a witch, i am too...don't tell anyone’

then a chipmunk fell out of a tree and i thought that i should bring it for knife girl as a gift but i didn't

SEPTEMBER 10, 2010

i felt more outgoing than usual and purposely sat one row behind and next to knife girl

she had a drawing

i waited until she looked at me and asked what the drawing was of

she said it was a fairy in a flower

it looked like a profile view of a fairy with very hard nipples in a tornado

i asked if the fairy was naked

knife girl said no

i said ‘oh, her clothes are just invisible’ and knife girl laughed

she tilted her head back and i could see up her nostrils

she said ‘i can tell I'm gonna like you, i’m katrina’

she held out her hand and i said ‘i'm mallory’ and i kind of touched her limp hand

i felt excited like ‘this is going to work’ regarding talking to an insane girl

i started smiling nervously because i felt the situation was absurd

she said ‘your smile...it’s like mine…you've got something evil in your smile’

she was talking loudly and we were very close to the bus driver

i asked her what she meant

she paused then asked me if i ever laugh to myself to get people to ask me what i’m thinking of

sydney was sitting in a seat next to me out of knife girl's view laughing uncontrollably

i said ‘no, not on purpose’

she said ‘oh, you must think i am funny’

i said ‘yeah’

she said ‘you should see me when i walk into that lunch room, i turn into a black-white girl’

i said ‘what do you mean’

she said ‘i mean i use profanity and stick up my middle finger and say the n-word and get loud’

i laughed and said ‘oh my god’ while thinking about the bus driver's ears

she said ‘white people use the n-word like it’s bad, but black people use it for everything, even at thanksgiving dinner’

she then pretended to pray and while pointing at imaginary food across an imaginary table she shouted ‘amen pass the nigga’

she said she liked my necklace

i asked if she had any pets

she said ‘yes, a german shepherd and a squirrel’

her hair was so greasy...

i said ‘what is the squirrel's name, does it live in your house’

she said ‘it's name is fast-steady, fast-steady lived on my patio at my old apartment until my family moved, then he held onto the top of the car and came with us to our new house’

i asked her if she talked to him and if he talks back

she said ‘yeah, i talk to him but i have to pretend i don't know he can't talk back, it's like double pretending’

i said ‘fast-steady’ and laughed

knife girl then said something about me seeming evil like her again

i asked if she liked squirrels or chipmunks more

she said ‘squirrels’

i told her about the dead chipmunk that fell out of the tree by my house

she said ‘give it a proper funeral’ then something about crime shows and crime scenes

she said i would get along with her friends

it was her bus stop and she said goodbye

i said ‘goodbye forever’ and she laughed very hard

once she got off the bus she watched it drive away

SEPTEMBER 14, 2010

when i got out of class i made eye contact with knife girl while she was exiting another room

she said ‘hi, you look familiar’

i said i talked to her on the bus

we walked together for about two minutes

she said she is a deist and that she hates the catholic church because a catholic priest molested her uncle

SEPTEMBER 16, 2010

someone pushed knife girl onto the bus

she responded by yelling ‘don't put your hands on me’

the pusher yelled ‘no one wants to’

i heard her telling someone she sat by that when she was seven her sister jumped on her chest and broke two of her ribs

the ribs poked into her lung so an ambulance had to be called

she said she swore like an irish sailor in the ambulance and her mom couldn't cover her mouth to stop her swearing because she had to wear an oxygen mask

knife girl made an echo-y sounding ‘fucking shit’

the girl she was talking to said ‘oh’

OCTOBER 6, 2010

knife girl had to chase the bus after school

the bus driver yelled at her for running so close to the bus

he said he could have ran her over

knife girl sat down and initiated conversation with me by saying she is the founder of ‘outcasts of america’

she said they have a flag

it is a red circle with a peace sign inside of it with the words ‘outcasts of america’ around the circle

knife girl said forty percent of their members were in new jersey

i told her she should make t-shirts with their flag to fund a trip

she seemed very receptive to the idea

i asked her if ‘outcasts of america’ had regular meetings

she said every other sunday at her house

i asked if they had an initiation ceremony

she said each new member has to party for four hours to be in the group

i asked how they party

knife girl said they party by eating large amounts of sugar and then dancing on her portable dance floor in her house

once i got home i googled ‘outcasts of america’ and saw pages about child homelessness in america

OCTOBER 17, 2010

while walking into school knife girl approached me looking more rugged than usual

she had a crumpled paper in her hand and was wearing pants with comic strips printed on them

her hair was very greasy or sopping wet

she walked towards me and said ‘i missed my detention, now i have a saturday school but i can’t go’

i said ‘you should go or you will get suspended’

she said ‘but i cant go’

i asked ‘can you physically or mentally not go’

knife girl said ‘physically i can’t go, i have a lot of things to do this weekend’

i asked ‘like what’

she said ‘i have to mail commissions and watch my dog, he was just neutered’

i asked about the commissions

she said ‘i make thousands-of-dollars a month off of art commissions, i post pictures of my work on my aunt’s facebook’

i asked ‘what is your aunt’s name’

she said ‘kira sinclair’

i said ‘are you lying’

knife girl said ‘no, bitch’ in a loud joking voice

a teacher turned around and looked at her and she said ‘oh shit, i’m sorry’

OCTOBER 21, 2010

while walking to the bus knife girl approached me and said ‘i just thought of the perfect line’

i asked what the line was for

she said ‘the play i am writing’

i asked what the line was

she said ‘i can take you to the morgue or the hospital, which will it be’ in an irish accent and walked away