Vasily had hope yesterday.
He sat with his sister Sasha at the kitchen table eating Taco Bell, Sasha says, "Vasily, I don't care if you get a whore. I've been making good money lately at the bar. You should."
"I know, but money, it will be gone."
"I'll give you money."
"No, the money, it will be gone, I'll die. Death."
"No, listen, you need to get laid. It has been months. Your self-esteem is withering away."
"Like the state."
"No, Vasily, not the state. Quit fucking thinking about the state. The state doesn't care about you, stop thinking about the state and start thinking about your penis. Your penis is more important than the state today."
"I'm very busy right now thinking about the state."
"No state, penis, think penis."
"Damn, I'm looking into your eyes and your eyes are thinking of the state."
"Okay, let me think, penis."
"Listen, take your check and go the strip joint and find a girl that will do a private with you for 200 dollars."
"Fuck money, your penis needs this."
"My penis is lonely. A cold wind blows over my crotch. My penis resembles the steel mills of Youngstown, once populated with energy and labor, now abandoned and unused, rusting, falling apart, with leaky roofs and broken windows."
"You are so fucking dramatic. That's your problem, you out dramatic the girls and girls don't like that. They like to be the masters of drama, and there you are being all poetic and weird all the time."
"My soul is an unpicked strawberry."
Vasily goes to the strip joint.
It is wonderful in there.
There are women in bikinis and beer.
Vasily gets some Mexican beer. He doesn't drink American beer because it gives him gas. He is convinced that American beer gives everyone gas, but Vasily is so nervous all the time making his ass tight that instead of just farting he gets bloated and hates himself.
A Puerto Rican girl comes over named Janisa.
Janisa is short, skinny, has mosquito bites for tits, and is a fine looking person.
Vasily has gotten dances from Janisa before, so Janisa knows he will probably get a dance.
Janisa says, "You want a dance?"
Janisa dances for Vasily.
When Janisa leans back and puts her head near Vasily's mouth, Vasily says, "You do privates?"
Vasily knows they always say 300, he also knows they will go lower.
Vasily says, "How about 200 and no sex."
Janisa says, "Just wait for me outside when we close."
Vasily has to sit there for another hour, waiting, waiting, waiting, to get some loving.
He sits there, orders more beer.
Plays the touch machine.
He imagines Janisa's little Puerto Rican body naked and curled up next to his, her soft brown skin, her pretty long dark indian hair, her skinny little arms tangled up in his.
This makes Vasily very happy.
Vasily has not gotten laid in a long time. He needs this. He needs some loving, or he may die.
No one has died from not getting loving, but life feels very hard without it. Life can drag without loving, life can weigh a lot without loving, poverty, sickness, and trying to show up to work on time and care about work enough to do a good job to not lose the job seem so much easier when one is getting some loving.
But Vasily is getting no loving.
So here he is, purchasing time with a lady.
He has chosen Janisa and not the other girls, not because Janisa is the prettiest, because there are prettier ones, but because she has the best personality. Or a personality that he prefers.
Vasily dreams and dreams of the night ahead, of nakedness, softness, and eventual orgasm onto the Puerto Rican ass.
The bar finally closes.
Vasily goes outside and waits in his car.
He sits there holding his penis, getting all stupid with desire.
Janisa walks out and goes to her boyfriend's car. He doesn't hear what they are saying, but he obviously says something like, "Get in the car, we're going home."
Because after a minute of talking, she gets in the car and leaves.
Vasily sits in the parking lot, Janisa is gone.
The loving is gone.
He sits there.
He thinks about punching the steering wheel of his car.
But he realized he thought about it, and therefore has lost its power.
So he drives out the parking lot to a local 24 hour super market, buys an expensive brand of mint chocolate chip ice cream and goes home.
When he gets home Sasha is sitting at the kitchen table writing, Sasha says, "Where's your whore?"
Vasily opens the mint chocolate chip ice cream and eats it. He decides that tomorrow he will rent five movies of considerable length, go home, order a large pizza that will last him the whole day, watch the movies and not leave the house, or pick up the phone.