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SCOLIOSIS POEMS
BY ZACHARY GERMAN

1


scoliosis kind of sounds like a disease of the skull

but it's a disease of the spine

my girlfriend says that i'm a dolphin

because of my scoliosis


2


i remember in middle school i learned that i had scoliosis

and we thought that maybe i would have to wear a brace thing

and i told my mom that if i had to wear a brace thing then she would have to get me a nintendo 64

and she seemed okay with that


3


last summer i bought a nintendo 64 on ebay

it came with a few crappy games

my roommate brought goldeneye 64 from his parents house

and we played goldeneye 64 sometimes

he was a lot better than me, so it wasn't that much fun

in the spring i moved to a new apartment and left the nintendo 64 in my old apartment

i haven't talked to my old roommate, don't know what happened to the nintendo 64

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FROM MY CHAIR I CAN SEE THE STREET AND IT SEEMS DEPRESSING
BY BRANDON SCOTT GORRELL

my friend is coming over

last time he came over we were eating crackers and i tried to hand one to him and it was kind of close to his face, and he thought i was trying to feed it to him so he ate it from my hand, but messed up and like sucked two of my fingers momentarily

it was really weird

i have had regular images of that moment since it happened

seems really bad

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HOLDING A TINY DIXIE CUP IN MY HAND MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A GIANT HUMAN BEING THAT CAN CRUSH THINGS
BY BRANDON SCOTT GORRELL

i was in my bedroom silently freaking out while staring at a computer screen

i lay down on my bed and got up and lay down on my bed and got up

the highway overpass brought me an intense fear and put it into my brain after going through my eyes

i looked for a plastic thing for two hours

i wanted to take a picture of myself with a sad facial expression and i took three and i had an angry facial expression in them

in some strange communication my roommate called me a name and asked me where his lunch was and i didn’t know what to say to him and he asked me if i was taking a vow of silence today and i said no and i whispered i am not taking a vow of silence today

someone sent me a picture of a poster of a lost dog on a telephone pole in a dark place and i felt sad

i walked around with no aim and after awhile i could not remember having left my house and then i remembered and went home

there was old coffee and a novel and some cigarettes on my desk and i was intellectual and beautiful

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I WANT TO DRIVE MY CAR INTO THE OCEAN REALLY SLOWLY, LIKE A TURTLE
BY JOSEPH MOORE

i played a show last night by myself with an electric guitar
and dedicated a song to sleeping pills
a girl came up to me after i played
and told me that i made her really depressed

later that night i wanted to disappear so badly that i went home
and took eight of those really strong sleeping pills that you gave me
i slept for fifteen hours and then woke up
and looked at myself in the bathroom mirror
my hair looked huger than ever

today i rode my bike through the rain
and saw someone on a bicycle get hit by a car
i tried to get a job as an ice cream truck driver
i drank a bottle of wine at five o'clock
and took a really hot bath

someone used my bank account
to put 1,500 dollars into
and then take 1,500 dollars out
on may 5th

i wish i couldn't think right now

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ELEVATED SELF ESTEEM AS A RESULT OF ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION
BY MEGAN BOYLE

i want to go to the gym
and pretend the weight machines are drums
and play the longest drum solo on them

everyone will stop working out
to look at me
gradually, a crowd will gather
people will nod their heads
and whisper to each other
'what is she doing?'
'i don't know, but i like it.'

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RELATIONSHIP POEM
BY BRANDON SCOTT GORRELL

on the couch i kept asking what was wrong

you said that nothing was wrong

then you said it had nothing to do with me

then we turned on american idol

and only talked about american idol

later we went to bed

and gmail chatted the next day

using 'ok' and 'i don't know' at a frequency that seemed higher than usual

i was on the 5th floor of the downtown public library

sitting next to an obese teenager

who was listening to death metal on her ipod

i minimized our gmail chat and looked at the escalators

mentally projecting myself minimizing our gmail chat and looking at the escalators

then the music on the obese teenager's ipod switched to r&b

it was interesting

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FELL ASLEEP WATCHING 'ELECTION' LAST NIGHT
BY ZACHARY GERMAN

then woke up and turned it off, 'went to bed'

dreamed / dreampt / dreamt that i had somehow stopped being in a relationship with / living with jamie and instead was in a relationship with / living with this somewhat obese italian type young woman

it seemed as though we lived in the 'country' to some degree

'i suppose' you and hipsterrunoff lived with us also

hipsterrunoff was black, and barack obama-esque

neither of us really liked him

we were on a 'trail' in the woods, i think i had a bike but 'was not riding it'

i think we went to a 'chain restaurant' 'a la t.g.i. friday's'

i like, took you aside to talk

and said something like 'why did i... leave jamie for [new person's name]'

you said '[jamie] is too beautiful for you'

(strange thing to say, right? i mean she's beautiful, but, seems strange)

so that was weird

other things were said

then the group formed again

and my 'new girl' was like 'crying'

we were on the 'outdoor trail' again

it was kind of weird

felt pretty bad during the dream

was extremely relieved after waking up to realize that it was 'only a dream'

just finished watching election / eating a salad / eating a bagel with cream cheese / drinking coffee with sugar and vodka

feel pretty good about the future / life in general

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SEEING A WOMAN COUGH TODAY MADE ME SENSE A VAGUE FEAR OF DEATH
BY BRANDON SCOTT GORRELL

a vague despair feels horrible

as a result of the nature of despair

all day i imagined myself customizing my blog

an hour and a half after i arrived at my laptop i was staring vacantly, refreshing gmail

last night i went to your house

two of your friends were there

i asked them questions

i feel we all attempted witticisms

everybody was trying to be funny

every time someone wasn't funny everyone felt weird

and you felt weird, definitely

people were talking for a long time, resultingly

i had a vague sense of victory, i think

i am at the library

people make many facial movements when they look at inanimate objects

such as computer screens

i forgot how to create impressive poetry

i feel worried about writing often

i think about a fat girl sometimes

there is a high chance i can predict the next two weeks with extreme accuracy

and that it would be easy for you to say something to me

that would cause my facial expression to become complex

and my brain to think 'say something, you're losing so hard'

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AN UNEVENTFUL STORY ABOUT A PERSON AND A DOG IN AN APARTMENT THAT THE MAJORITY OF THE POPULATION WOULD REACT TO BY SAYING 'I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE POINT OF THIS IS'
BY ELLEN KENNEDY

a person wakes up in a bed that is really just a bare twin-sized mattress set directly on the floor

the bed is in a room that only has a bed

the room is in an apartment that is only a room

inside the apartment is a bed and a laptop and a toilet and a sink and a shower and a mini refrigerator and an oven with a stovetop and a toy poodle without a name

the person walks to the toilet and pees

the toy poodle is lying in the corner staring at the person peeing

the person walks to the mini refrigerator and takes out a box of vegan burgers and looks at the vegan burgers then puts the vegan burgers back into the mini refrigerator

the person looks out of the only window that is only 2 feet by 2 feet big and a little dirty and sees a pigeon fly into a window of another apartment and fall 20 stories to the sidewalk

the person walks back to the mini refrigerator and takes out a portabella mushroom the size of their hand and washes it in the sink then eats it raw

the person eats the mushroom and thinks 'fungus, i'm eating fungus' while eating the mushroom and doesn't really laugh but opens their eyes a little bigger and then returns them to a neutral position

the person eats around the stem of the mushroom and then eats the top of the stem then feeds what is left of the stem to the toy poodle

the toy poodle picks up the stem in its mouth and then drops it back on the floor and walks back to the corner and falls asleep

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I WANT TO CALL YOU A BITCH
BY BRANDON SCOTT GORRELL

i felt really bad about our relationship but for some reason when i opened up my 'my documents' folder i felt good about everything's existence including plants and boats and metal structures and mine also

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SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED TODAY
BY ZACHARY GERMAN

i got on the L train at 8th avenue

i noticed that a black woman didn't get off the 8th avenue bound L train

she stayed on it as it became a brooklyn bound L train

i saw her sitting across from me

later i didn't see her

later she was sitting next to me

she said 'can i ask you a question'

she said 'what book is that'

i was reading 'honored guest' by joy williams

i said 'honored guest by joy williams' quietly and showed her the cover of the book

she said 'what'

i said the same thing, louder, and showed her the cover of the book for a longer period of time

she said something like 'can you read fast'

i said 'yes'

she said something like 'and you can write?'

i said 'yes'

she said 'you write well?'

i said 'yes'

she said 'are you working right now'

i said 'yes'

she said 'what'

i said 'yes'

she said 'and do you go to school'

i said 'no'

she said 'there is hair in your face'

she said 'may i move the hair out of your face'

i said 'no'

she said 'you have a bang'

she said 'there is a bang in your face'

she said 'may i move it back'

i said 'no'

she said 'are you married'

i said 'no'

she said 'but do you have children'

i said 'no' and laughed quietly, nervously

she said 'but do you want to have children'

i said 'no'

she said 'alright'

she didn't say anything for a little while

she said 'so you don't want to get married'

i said 'i don't know'

she said 'you've never dated any girls?'

she said 'are you gay'

she said 'sir are you gay'

she said 'it's my stop'

she said 'goodbye'

she said 'say goodbye sir'

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QIM DRUNK
BY VICTORIA TROTT

im
dRunk
i hate my sleif self, nand life
because i m so bad at people
josh my brother said PRIDE
its true
pride is when you think
you're better than
other people
thats my disease
everyone i saw today when i was drunk looked at me like they ghated me
WHY Do they hate m
e
i m fucked and induce hate in others
and fucked
itwi awas so bad
i felt scareed
i wish i had any friends
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i need some friends
at least one person
oh my god fucked
i am an imitative fuckedass bitch
i hate myself
no idont
i am pride
i hate, how i end up lookinbg to opther people]drnk
FUCk drunk
fuck fuck fuck fukck fuck fuck theeere is no hope for me there is no solution, seriously, io am just fuck fuck fuck fuck fucked aso fu ked
logic doesnt exist in my life
i make stupid selfish assshole nobohyud like sm me znpnfpzmnofboyBNOBODY
fuck i wih i had a frienf at least one
now i willo go make RAMEn noddles

PEOPLE LIKE ME BETTER WHEN I AM SKINNIER
BUT WHEN PEOPLE DONT LIKE ME IO EAT MORE
DESTRUCTIVE DEATH CYCLE OF ME BEING FATFATFATFATFATFAT
ranen noodles

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LEMMINGS PAINTBALL
BY ZACHARY GERMAN

from THE NAME OF THIS BAND IS THE TALKING HEADS, issue 2

there was an elderly woman
she was asian
she had a large patch of hair on the right side of her face
i stared at the large patch of hair and i didn't care about anything
i looked away and i cared about some things

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TONIC HAS A LOT OF CALORIES, INTERESTINGLY
BY ZACHARY GERMAN

from THE NAME OF THIS BAND IS THE TALKING HEADS, issue 2

i feel like one day i'll stop being able to walk or something
and then all of a sudden i'll be my cat
and my cat will be me
she'll go to work
and answer my cell phone when it rings

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THE WORLD WOULD BE HAPPIER WITH ME DEAD IN IT
BY VICTORIA TROTT

i feel sad
i like comfort so much

i keep seeing myself talking to my dad
about like, jesus or something
or being uncomfortable of mr. sheikh
and acting all civilised
to avoid discomfort

i won’t ever be able to do anything or realize life is meaningless
i’ll just be a bullshit person
like everyone who made me in my family
i’m gonna be a bullshit person
an asshole

i do not want this to happen
i already am an assshit bullhole
fuck

i can’t even use concrete images

blue flower
dyed industrially

that was not connected to anything
it was an image
a cliche image
fuck
i’m a bullhole cliche
assshit

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