me: Hey.
sam: hey man
me: Sam?
hey
1:02 PM sam: i'm finna go invizz
it has been done
1:04 PM hey
me: hey
"BOTTOM LINE"
sam: can there be a "bottom line" segment
me: bottom line, yeah that sounds good
1:06 PM when you want to do that just tell me
and i'll go right into it
PART 1: AGE/LOCATION
how old were you when you wrote PERSON?
sam: i think, 26 to 27
maybe a little 25
1:07 PM me: has your mom read it?
sam: i'm not sure
me: do you have siblings?
sam: yes two brothers
me: where are you right now?
sam: i'm in a livingroom in humboldt park, sitting on the wooden floor with my legs crossed
1:08 PM me: you're in a park, or is 'humboldt park' like a cafe or something?
sam: humboldt park is a neighborhood
1:09 PM bottom line: humboldt park: a neighborhood, not cafe
BOTTOM LINE: "HUMBOLDT PARK: A NEIGHBORHOOD, NOT CAFE"
me: i see what you mean by 'bottom line' now
sam: bottom line: he gets it
BOTTOM LINE: "HE GETS IT"
me: when that happens, you just go ahead and type 'bottom line': etc. i'll format it later
sam: i hear it spoken in my head when i write it
1:10 PM me: nice
have you done that in some other interview, the 'bottom line' thing?
sam: not sure
it feels like i have
sam: yeah jordan likes the segments too
PART 2: MDAsam: we took some mda you sent jordan
i remember being like "i'm really fucked up"
then having intense hallucinations with my eyes closed
me: you looked like a normal functioning human
like a mediocre guest on oprah
PART 3: HOSTESS FRUIT PIE (1/2)
me: what sentence do you think of first when you read 'what sentence is most memorable of what you've written to you'?
sam: just imagined myself forcing a "hostess fruit pie" into my forehead
me: while reading that i kept wanting it to say 'into your mouth'
sam: not sure, i read one while working on something the other day and i thought that
1:23 PM me: can you try to remember it
or any part of it?
1:26 PM sam: i can't remember the exact sentence i thought that about, but i remember a lesser one about someone headbutting a cat and the sound it makes when the foreheads hit
and the person saying "hyuhh" as they did it
me: nice. so someone headbutts a cat in the cat's head?
1:27 PM sam: forehead to forehead
BOTTOM LINE
me: what's the context?
what's the bottom line? "forehead to forehead"?
sam: yes i think so
BOTTOM LINE: "FOREHEAD TO FOREHEAD"
not sure about the context
i can't handle plot and context uunless it's really simple
1:28 PM me: what does pushing 'hostess fruit pies' into your forehead remind you of?
1:29 PM sam: i think it reminds me that i don't think effectively
PART 4: A CONDEFERACY OF DUNCES
1:30 PM me: what's a book you 'gave up on' quickest in recent memory
sam: i read one or two sentences from "a confederacy of dunces" and stopped
me: what thoughts occurred to you during those one or two sentences, if any, that you can remember
1:31 PM sam: bottom line: good question
BOTTOM LINE: "GOOD QUESTION"
i think i just thought "no"
like "don't read anymore"
it didn't feel critical
me: do you remember what was on the cover?
sam: i remember liking the cover
me: do you remember what was on it?
sam: i think it was a painting of one of the characters
me: an obese man?
1:32 PM sam: yes
YES!
me: nice
what's another book you stopped reading recently?
PART 5: SIDDHARTHA
sam: i stopped reading siddhartha after one page
1:33 PM me: when was this?
sam: but i think my brain is just like, ruined
it feels soggy and shitty
that was recently
me: but in emails you seem alert and like your brain has things to say
1:34 PM do you only write emails when, like, after you've had coffee or something?
sam: yeah it's nice to talk to some people sometimes
no i dont think so
i just get excited about being able to say some things to people
because i don't talk to people in public a lot
PART 6: CRACK
me: tell us about smoking crack, i think you did that with homeless people once, am i right
1:35 PM sam: yeah i've smoked crack, i think, four to six times maybe
maybe three to five
it didn't seem enjoyable
me: any of those times with, like, people your age?
sam: most of them were alone
PART 7: MOLLY
1:36 PM sam: yeah i think three people did
someone broke a beer bottle in the shower while i was standing barefoot in it, ass out
it was stressful
me: then they just told you to stand still, so they could snort molly off it?
or did they tell you to go into the shower specifically for that?
1:37 PM sam: can't remember that
i rememeber going into the bathroom
and gene morgan texted his wife to ask if it was okay
me: feel like it would be really difficult, unless you were lying stomachdown
sam: yeah that was a problem
i kind of bent at the waist
put it on my "upper cheek"
me: i can't picture it at all, unless it was a gigantic shower
1:38 PM was your ass sweaty at all, do you think?
sam: no but i was just going to say, i never wear underwear so i think i had fuzz in it
prettu syre about the fuzz
me: fuzz, like cotton from the pants?
sam: yeah like
1:39 PM my ass is really round
like big and round
so i feel like fuzz just loves gettin in there!
me: you think of it as getting "in" your ass?
sam: no pardon me
like
just in the crevice between each half of the ass
me: they should've just anally given you some molly, since they were already doing that
have you ever used drugs rectally?
PART 8: ANAL ECSTASY
sam: yeah i tried to put a brown pill of ecstacy
up my ass
but it just burned and i shit it out and didn't feel anything
me: i watched a youtube conspiracy video that said marilyn monroe was given an enema of barbituates, which was what killed her
1:41 PM sam: that sounds horrible but also like, grand
sounds grand
me: what notable thoughts have you had the past 30 minutes?
PART 9: HOSTESS FRUIT PIE (2/2)
1:43 PM sam: the hostess fruit pie into the forehead keeps recurring in my head
me: me too
it seems good
any other notable thoughts?
sam: no, thank you for your time
me: we're not done yet
sam: bottom line: sorry
BOTTOM LINE: "SORRY"me: i asked people on facebook to ask questions
1:44 PM i'm going to paste those, you can answer if you want
PART 10: QUESTIONS FROM FACEBOOK
me: "if you were to commit suicide how would you do it, if you were to write a suicide note what would it say" - Spencer Madsen
sam: try to behead myself somehow
no note
me: "if a raging grizzly was charging towards you, what weapon would you use to defend yourself and why" - Katherine Claire DeMoss
sam: my hands and my anger
me: "what is the highest level of math you feel you have 'mastered' to any degree" - Andrew Colville
1:46 PM sam: i don't know a lot of math
me: "favourite dinosaur and why?" - Rigby Taht
sam: if there's one that eats other dinosaur's shit, then that one
me: "what's your favorite food to eat at the olive garden and why" - Johnny Vulpine
sam: i've never been to the olive garden
PART 11: RED LOBSTER
1:47 PM me: have you been to red lobster?
sam: yes one time
maybe i was like six
me: what happened?
sam: don't remember
just remember feeling the normal amount of discomfort being out at a restaurant
QUESTIONS FROM FACEBOOK (CONTINUED)
"Everything about your style is so different - from the poetic verse type prose, to the whacky titles to the often blunt, shocking and sometimes simple, childish words used throughout. What exactly are you trying to accomplish, and what benefits have you found for your style over other more traditional styles and forms?" - Simon A. Smith
sam: i honestly feel like i don't know what i'm doing when i do it
INTERLUDE: INTERVIEW ASSESSMENT