Nov 2
fuck europe

Nov 10
Jeopardy should last like 20x longer

Nov 11
When are they gonna come out w better drugs

Nov 24
What if Nike changed their slogan to "don't be Jewish"

Nov 27
The Pikachu float was followed by a marching band of cops can I sign up for ISIS online

Dec 12
i don't know if this makes sense but...this is the most 'fun' hangover i've ever experienced...?

Dec 26
there was a time in my life when i could enthusiastically provide you with an incorrect definition of 'post-structuralism'


Jan 2
spiders are kinda hot

Jan 18
they should use those football drone camera things to document wars

Jan 20
Doorman at work seems so emotionally desolate that I'm kind of attracted to him sometimes (???)

Feb 14
Seeking double suicide partner

Feb 26
i think i only half 'believe in' the government. As in its existence. Like i've never seen it in real life, so

Feb 27
dtf that sculpture in the triennial

Mar 3
began an email 'regarding your question about the female narrator's penis'

Mar 8
ISIS is bae

Mar 15
Subway did that thing were it got really quiet right as I said the word "performativity" while loudly mansplaining

Mar 18
'on deck' always seemed like a geeky phrase to me. i don't like it. spiders on deck. actually i love it. i hate you. unfollow this account

Mar 18
wish i could do 'flippant, endearing depression' instead of 'repellant, angry depression'

Mar 25
People are all like "I don't believe in objective truth" until they catch me lying to them :^\

Apr 3
Excited to sit silently in a bar with unfocused eyes after a long week of doing that in places that aren't bars

Apr 4
'idiot wind' is the most concise and accurate description of wind in general ever written IMO. song's probably about something else tho idk

Apr 14
I've never felt lonely while stoned, I'm now realizing

Apr 17
is everyone on seinfeld jewish?

Apr 19
Got lowkey hit by a car while aimlessly crossing the street in a fever of depression

Apr 29
Developing a confusing crush on the ~50 year old Chinese woman who owns the deli near my work

May 5
seeking significant other so i can say "if you break up with me i'll kill myself, i have a way picked out"

May 6
They drew Bugs Bunny as a sex object on purpose, I feel

May 9
My mom just told me she met the Silk Road guy at a party before he went to jail lmao

May 13
gonna tell everyone the new mad max movie is 'one of the best films in the history of cinema,' never see it, kill myself a month later

May 16
Please kill myself

May 18
I'm not saying cuteness is fascist but I don't think cuteness could've existed without fascism...does this..makes sense...

May 20
curious about when and why i followed the met on twitter

May 20
the abu ghraib guy would make a pretty spooky ghost in a horror movie

May 22
where do i click for pleasure

May 26
everything is a subtweet...of my experience of reality...omg

May 27
even tho young thug is really popular i don't think ppl will 'understand' his work for another few decades, i honestly feel this way lol

Jun 5
tinder notification appeared on boss's iphone over image of his wife and daughter

Jun 7
Bosa Nova, the 'happening spot' in Bushwick, reminds me that we must prefer a real hell to an imagined paradise. Thanks for following!

Jun 13
"who cares" will set you free

Jun 14
cried a little at bareburger

Jun 16
learning to accept that becoming a stoner may be my only alternative to detrimental substance abuse

Jun 18
this is the thirstiest-seeming summer, so far

Jun 22
i like imagining strangers pressed against each other on the rush hour subway as couples

Jun 23
'it's fine who cares' is turning into 'it's not fine and i actually care a lot but what difference does it make'

Jun 29
the janet jackson song that sounded sexy last week sounds mournful today

Jun 30
killed a spider by punching it

Jul 1
I want my biopic to open where I am right now: at Bossa Nova at 2 AM on a Tuesday, sitting in a booth, alone

Jul 3
there's blood on the shirt i wore to bossa nova last night

Jul 7
Con Edison's slogan is EVERYTHING MATTERS, which, to me, means the same thing as NOTHING MATTERS

Jul 18
instead of complaining about how often ppl look at their phones, maybe we should complain about how objective reality is worse than phones

Jul 24
i don't have a consistent opinion on any person or thing in my life