Jeopardy should last like 20x longer
When are they gonna come out w better drugs
What if Nike changed their slogan to "don't be Jewish"
The Pikachu float was followed by a marching band of cops can I sign up for ISIS online
i don't know if this makes sense but...this is the most 'fun' hangover i've ever experienced...?
there was a time in my life when i could enthusiastically provide you with an incorrect definition of 'post-structuralism'
spiders are kinda hot
they should use those football drone camera things to document wars
Doorman at work seems so emotionally desolate that I'm kind of attracted to him sometimes (???)
Seeking double suicide partner
i think i only half 'believe in' the government. As in its existence. Like i've never seen it in real life, so
dtf that sculpture in the triennial
began an email 'regarding your question about the female narrator's penis'
ISIS is bae
Subway did that thing were it got really quiet right as I said the word "performativity" while loudly mansplaining
'on deck' always seemed like a geeky phrase to me. i don't like it. spiders on deck. actually i love it. i hate you. unfollow this account
wish i could do 'flippant, endearing depression' instead of 'repellant, angry depression'
People are all like "I don't believe in objective truth" until they catch me lying to them :^\
Excited to sit silently in a bar with unfocused eyes after a long week of doing that in places that aren't bars
'idiot wind' is the most concise and accurate description of wind in general ever written IMO. song's probably about something else tho idk
I've never felt lonely while stoned, I'm now realizing
is everyone on seinfeld jewish?
Got lowkey hit by a car while aimlessly crossing the street in a fever of depression
Developing a confusing crush on the ~50 year old Chinese woman who owns the deli near my work
seeking significant other so i can say "if you break up with me i'll kill myself, i have a way picked out"
They drew Bugs Bunny as a sex object on purpose, I feel
My mom just told me she met the Silk Road guy at a party before he went to jail lmao
gonna tell everyone the new mad max movie is 'one of the best films in the history of cinema,' never see it, kill myself a month later
Please kill myself
I'm not saying cuteness is fascist but I don't think cuteness could've existed without fascism...does this..makes sense...
curious about when and why i followed the met on twitter
the abu ghraib guy would make a pretty spooky ghost in a horror movie
where do i click for pleasure
everything is a subtweet...of my experience of reality...omg
even tho young thug is really popular i don't think ppl will 'understand' his work for another few decades, i honestly feel this way lol
tinder notification appeared on boss's iphone over image of his wife and daughter
Bosa Nova, the 'happening spot' in Bushwick, reminds me that we must prefer a real hell to an imagined paradise. Thanks for following!
"who cares" will set you free
cried a little at bareburger
learning to accept that becoming a stoner may be my only alternative to detrimental substance abuse
this is the thirstiest-seeming summer, so far
i like imagining strangers pressed against each other on the rush hour subway as couples
'it's fine who cares' is turning into 'it's not fine and i actually care a lot but what difference does it make'
the janet jackson song that sounded sexy last week sounds mournful today
killed a spider by punching it
I want my biopic to open where I am right now: at Bossa Nova at 2 AM on a Tuesday, sitting in a booth, alone
there's blood on the shirt i wore to bossa nova last night
Con Edison's slogan is EVERYTHING MATTERS, which, to me, means the same thing as NOTHING MATTERS
instead of complaining about how often ppl look at their phones, maybe we should complain about how objective reality is worse than phones
i don't have a consistent opinion on any person or thing in my life