<

SELECTIONS FROM MEGAN BOYLE'S TWITTER ACCOUNT
BY MEGAN BOYLE, EDITED BY TAO LIN

7:18 PM Feb 5th
i wish i had 15-20 cats that would serve as a blanket, like if i moved they would adjust to my new position, that would be good

10:48 AM Feb 11th
i had a dream that there were these huge indoor swimming pools called 'lobbies' that poor people used to do mass amounts of laundry

1:20 PM Apr 6th
just overheard a big black girl saying 'if you BUY me a HOTDOG, we're TOGETHER.'

2:03 AM May 9th
sleepy but unable to fall asleep, just thought 'bagel bagel bagel bagel' repeatedly for no reason

1:31 PM May 11th
very tempted to put entire half-bag of m&m's in my mouth right now

12:47 PM Jun 27th
customer just told his kids 'these are the "into the wild" toys,' referring to 'where the wild things are' toys

1:05 PM Jul 14th
last day of class, ~40 year old classmate from nigeria says to me, 'give me your phone number, tattoo girl. i will take you to africa.' hehe.

9:36 PM Jul 20th
6 new voicemails, 1. 'mystery people' singing 'do you realize,' 2.-5. people i know, 6. someone moving objects for ~1.5 minutes

1:30 AM Sep 1st
stood in front of pantry, ate 7 oreos. thought 'am i really eating another oreo?' and felt exponentially less satisfied with each oreo eaten.

11:30 AM Sep 22nd
just thought i read the word 'gandalf' while scanning an article, couldn't find 'gandalf' again

8:21 PM Oct 25th
cats keep shitting on the floor. going to drive to the suburbs to get dairy queen.

12:33 AM Nov 26th
at my dad's house. everyone drank beer. just heard my mom loudly say 'holy shit' in the kitchen, then no one said anything for ~30 seconds.

1:48 AM Dec 29th
during dinner i said, 'there is a $20 beef fajis.' meant to say, 'there is a $20 fee to check bags.'

<

SELECTIONS FROM MILES ROSS' TWITTER ACCOUNT
BY MILES ROSS, EDITED BY TAO LIN

11:37 AM Mar 22nd
smiling uncontrollably, trying to think of thoughts or feelings.

1:06 PM Mar 22nd
stood in the corner of bar trying to remain expressionless, concentrating on concentrating on a hockey game.

11:06 PM Mar 24th
forgotten atm card in atm spurred 'i don't see how i can overcome one more set back.' then thought about that as a tweet.

11:07 PM Mar 24th
walking towards mobile on the run i thought 'i can overcome any set back' but then failed to think of examples of set backs.

1:50 PM Mar 30th
never know what i feel anymore, picture my feelings as a decent quality food court in a mall, but again, don't really know.

10:18 PM Mar 30th
went and got more pink lemonade and looked out the kitchen window. the sky is pretty now.

7:39 PM Apr 6th
reading by light from window, felt confidence that i could write a novel enter then leave me.

3:21 PM Apr 7th
just stared into the wrinkles in my palm and thought 'i want to be asian.'

1:49 PM Apr 13th
almost typed 'jesus, lamb of god' into the url bar.

10:01 PM Apr 20th
about to leave work. i feel excitement towards the weather i'm about to encounter. i just thought it'd be cool if my rain jacket was haunted.

11:11 PM Apr 20th
saw tracy morgan slide his metro card and then get rejected by the turnstile.

7:36 PM Apr 29th
feel like i'm not sure who i am, or about any of the thoughts i have had. i don't remember anything.

2:14 AM May 3rd
almost put the salt in the sink. what is life?

12:41 AM May 11th
keep thinking there is a place you can go to get intentionally bitten by a snake to 'spice your life up.'

1:07 PM May 13th
there are retards in the library. one just sat at the table 'with me.' another retard is bellowing from the balcony.

2:25 AM May 16th
left bed to get some ice cream and noticed a fog had moved in.

<

SELECTIONS FROM CHRIS KILLEN'S TWITTER ACCOUNT
BY CHRIS KILLEN, EDITED BY TAO LIN

2:39 PM Mar 14th
lay in bed for a long time, 'twittering' in my head. tried to remember what i had 'twittered' last night. got up. put on dressing gown. etc.

2:50 AM Mar 14th
listened to man on radio in taxi with 'strong opinion'. panicked mildly that i would never have a 'strong opinion' about anything.

10:53 AM Mar 16th
possibly going to eat a banana in a moment.

11:00 AM Mar 16th
still haven't eaten the banana. what am i doing?

11:01 AM Mar 16th
i feel like i have 'twittered' myself into eating the banana.

1:41 PM Mar 16th
i feel like i am 'twittering the mother-fucking shit out of everything' today. i feel like i am in a fast, open-top sports car.

2:22 AM Mar 16th
my penis feels like a day old glass of water, with bubbles and a bit of tobacco in it.

2:22 AM Mar 16th
my penis feels like a CD i never listen to anymore.

2:23 AM Mar 16th
my penis feels like a curious old gentleman climbing a flight of stairs and then stopping halfway up to have a stroke.

1:47 PM Mar 17th
i am eating a blueberry muffin.

11:57 AM Mar 18th
it is 'blueberry muffin time' again.

4:13 PM Mar 18th
my leg feels strange.

4:15 PM Mar 18th
@jennashworth hi, babes.

2:19 PM Mar 20th
just watched a video on the internet explaining how to fold a t-shirt.

2:22 PM Mar 20th
just tried to look at the alley at the back of my parent's house in kenilworth on google street view. wasn't there.

NEWS/CONTENT | BOOKS | AFFILIATES | STORE | ABOUT