I was drunk sitting alone
at night on the front porch
watching rap videos on my phone
when a call came through

it was my sister so I pressed
the reject button because she calls a lot
and I wanted to watch the rap videos
it buzzed again but this time it was my mom

so I answered and she told me grandpa died
I was already drunk but I thought about
using this as an excuse to get really drunk
but felt oddly certain I didn't want to drink

anymore I thought about my grandpa
and remembered a cabin he used to own
on a hot and muddy lake near Wichita Falls
he taught me to waterski there when I was a kid

I remembered how the cabin toilet did not flush so
afterward you had to dump a bucket of water into it
and then walk down to the lake to refill the bucket
I remembered how grandpa visited on Thanksgivings
staying in an RV in our driveway with his second wife
my parents disliked her but she always seemed nice to me

I thought about how scared and stressed my grandpa was
after his second wife died and her family tried to take his house
we flew to West Texas to meet with his lawyer
and attend a hearing in a small probate courtroom

my wife came outside to take me to bed
she thought I was passed out drunk because
sometimes that happens to me and I was
sitting with my head hanging down that way

I told her my grandpa was dead
she tried to console me but
I didn't want to see or hear anything
she was hurt and went back inside

the first time grandpa tried to get me up on waterskis
I kept hanging on even after falling off the skis
I plowed through water behind the boat until
the ski rope was ripped from my hands

grandpa told me not to hang on
to just let go if I fell off the skis
and he would circle back to pick me up

eventually I did get up on the skis
and waterskied around the lake all day