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His first words were "Photoshop is for dreamers, unlike InDesign"
Compared students discovering Photoshop to Marco Polo discovering Asia
Someone gasped when he increased the contrast
I feel like everyone here is named is Taylor
Implied that Marco Polo was a dumbass because he didn't use adjustment presets
Pronounced Conde Nast as Condom Nast
Inadvertently made an Andre Breton reference
Great anecdote about getting fired from NFL creative services for drinking wine on the job
Says he used to hate football, but now he likes it
Insists on cashing his clients' checks immediately
Said "when in doubt, invert the colors"
Called something that wasn't an Amber Alert an Amber Alert
I feel like he's sabotaging the projector so he can hit on one of the Taylors
Another great anecdote about his pet adoption application being rejected because he was drunk
Keeps referring to Starbucks like it's a symbol of extreme wealth and leisure
Said "BOOM" after googling "best free photoshop brushes"
Twisted his ankle on the SVGA plug he spurned earlier
All he has to do is say "Taylor" and everyone pays attention
He's literally screaming about triangles
Said "you should never be crawling into a wine bar, you should always be crawling out of a wine bar"
He's devoting a significant amount of class time on how to over-bill clients
Claims intimate knowledge of the TGIFridays in Penn Station
Showed us a shortcut and said with the time it would save us on our hypothetical project we would be able to be on our 10th margarita by now
Said "French Riviera, I mean Mexican Riviera. I don't know..."
Insists on playing soft jazz and whispering "you're at the Marriott, it's very late..." while we work
Said "is the shadow part of the cow? yes it is"
Blames Photoshop for UFOs but still thinks they're real
His parting wisdom was "never do anything for free" and everyone clapped
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