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felt a desire to 'create something,' i think, or 'write down' 'this moment' so i can remember it or 'use it' for art
didn't want to anything, i don't know
decided to 'resign' to emailing you after visin began blurring
vision is almost entirely blurred
it feels like i'm staring blankly through the eyes of a smaller head in my head, through 'the screen' of my 'outer face'
like my hands and the laptop feel very far away
it feels like i'm wearing a headband but i'm not
ziggy and evan are sleeping
ate 3x packet 'gusher's' & 2x packet 'scooby doo' gummies
still seem to feel the sugar on my teeth...
i am squinting
my legs feel like... enormous and warm and tingly
a blowjob would be good right now
'this is the time for a blowjob,' i think as i squint my eyes at the screen and feel nauseus
i just closed my eyes and allowed my head to 'roll back,' hitting the wall
just... did it again on accident
just saw the word "YES" flash in front of my eyes in pink neon lettering
my blinking feels slow and 'fuzzy'
feel paralyzed and retarded a little
just thought 'analyze me past now bitch!' in an irish accent, i think
my body feels slow... eveyrhtig is moving slowly
just thought "i don't know what is going on at any given moment, none of us do" in a manner like i was thinking of me saying it, i think
kekekkalooooooooo nigga!!!
nigga nigga fuh cakaka cooky lala boondychacha
things don't feel easier or better, in slow motion, they just feel different
i feel like i'm breathing underwater, or being born, maybe
i feel like i can go many hours without thinking about anybody but myself and maybe mallory
or like days or maybe weeks
i don't know
bricksquad, bricksquad - everything is brick squad
i feel like a rap star
my life this past week has felt like a rap star, a little, i think
stared blankly ~1 min then 'realized' i waas thinking [something i just forgot.... tried to remember ~2 min]
mass confusion
forgot a lot of things about my life, like, it feels like only a really small portion of things gets remembered,,, like... i don't know, nothing like, makes me sad anymore, ,like, that used to make me sad ('mad me' sad./..)
i feel like a struggling like, fish or something
sorry i typed so much
keep thinking something like "i'm so high" then "what the fuck" or "where the fuck.../" or [somthing else]
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