I'll never know what
became of my 800
facebook friends, I
deleted it like it
was nothing

People used to praise
my profile pictures

I got so much joy
from posting a new one
Watching the numbers
go up, receiving
a message from a concerned
older male acquaintance
unsure if I knew what
a profile pic of me on the toilet
might signify


I want my whole
body to feel like my
tongue feels when it is
dipped in sparkling water

I want to make you
laugh so hard it makes
you afraid to ever
talk to me again


Hands resting on stomach
in a mental-illness seeming
position, unclench and straighten
your shoulders 100,000 times
until you're hot again


Spent an hour in the family
group chat claiming that
science is fake

When I stretch my thoughts
the length of my breath
I think of my Dad, crying
when we put the cat to sleep


Staring out the window like,
will I ever find love or is this
a place for feeling its absence?


Watched a baby carry
her diapers from a pile
on the floor over to a lamp
and place them on top
all while muttering in
her own language with
a calm sense of purpose


If my parents hadn't
joined a cult, I would never
have been born


By the time they figure
out quantum entanglement
we'll already be spinning
in circles on the astral
plane, it infuriates my
brother when I say
shit like this, he just
wants to play video
games and not worry
When we used to play that
James Bond game I only
liked the setting where
you slap each other to death


You're all inside
my mouse, I
mean mouth,
my pen is dying

[chaotic dying-pen scribbles]

Pen you
I will dig

from your
ink reserves
mine, mine, mine

Is this a good
use of my time
Nobody knows!


Writing a poem on the J train
as it travels over the bridge
I hope no one thinks I'm
writing a poem


Writing a poem at work
going to lose the respect
I have never gained
When I smile at the patrons
I look judgemental
or like I want to fuck
That's how it feels anyway
My smile really means
'I accept you as my fellow
human and I am being
paid to smile at you'


After I write this poem
I'm going to smoke a cig
and think about some
friends of mine, and if
they're lonely right now
Probably won't think of
my great aunt Helen
and what she's dreaming
of right now, assuming
she's asleep, and not
having fragile sex with


Put the mirror down
You can't relieve the itches
for the person in the mirror
Let her find her own way home