sort of like the few minutes before falling asleep, but if i was fully conscious during those minutes

everything is neutral and on the same level

i don't feel nervous about anything

sort of like being in a bathtub, my brain gets put in a bathtub

everything seems equal, i don't know, i keep having that thought

when i try to think about things that have made me feel bad in the past i just think 'those things are okay now'

it feels sort of like being slowly fucked in oppressive heat

where the goal of sex is to distract each other with your genitals, not necessarily have orgasms

you just look at each other and forget what you're doing but you keep doing it

it feels like watching cooking shows all day on a saturday and having that be your entire life's purpose

sort of

there are better ways to describe it

i wouldn't want to attempt to read 'swann's way' while feeling like this

one time i went to whole foods and bought two different kinds of lettuce while on xanax

i bought something else too