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SELECTIONS FROM MEGAN BOYLE'S TWITTER
MEGAN BOYLE, EDITED BY TAO LIN


7:18PM Feb 5
i wish i had 15-20 cats that would serve as a blanket, like if i moved they would adjust to my new position, that would be good

10:48AM Feb 11
i had a dream that there were these huge indoor swimming pools called 'lobbies' that poor people used to do mass amounts of laundry

1:20PM Apr 6
just overheard a big black girl saying 'if you BUY me a HOTDOG, we're TOGETHER.'

2:03AM May 9
sleepy but unable to fall asleep, just thought 'bagel bagel bagel bagel' repeatedly for no reason

1:31PM May 11
very tempted to put entire half-bag of m&m's in my mouth right now

12:47PM Jun 27
customer just told his kids 'these are the "into the wild" toys,' referring to 'where the wild things are' toys

1:05PM Jul 14
last day of class, ~40 year old classmate from nigeria says to me, 'give me your phone number, tattoo girl. i will take you to africa.' hehe.

9:36PM Jul 20
6 new voicemails, 1. 'mystery people' singing 'do you realize,' 2.-5. people i know, 6. someone moving objects for ~1.5 minutes

1:30AM Sep 1
stood in front of pantry, ate 7 oreos. thought 'am i really eating another oreo?' and felt exponentially less satisfied with each oreo eaten.

11:30AM Sep 22
just thought i read the word 'gandalf' while scanning an article, couldn't find 'gandalf' again

8:21PM Oct 25
cats keep shitting on the floor. going to drive to the suburbs to get dairy queen.

12:33AM Nov 26
at my dad's house. everyone drank beer. just heard my mom loudly say 'holy shit' in the kitchen, then no one said anything for ~30 seconds.

1:48AM Dec 29
during dinner i said, 'there is a $20 beef fajis.' meant to say, 'there is a $20 fee to check bags.'