|
be part of the unchanging collection of mass and energy in the universe
become manifest as a tiny foetus created out of the unchanging collection of mass and energy through the process of your parents having sex
get born
spend approximately 12 years vaguely experiencing things
spend approximately 4 years becoming aware of experiences
become self aware
start reading
spend time reading
feel for the first time a sense of not being part of the unchanging collection of mass and energy in the universe and slowly contemplate how this feeling is like what you've read about, that you are experiencing loneliness for the first time
feel lonely
spend time alone
find a book that allows you to dissociate fully from past conceptions of yourself
read that book many times
carry the book with you everywhere
buy a backpack
put the book in the backpack
try to become a character in the book
try to become the writer of the book
try to write exactly the same book but in your own voice and fail
feel frustrated and worthless
feel doubt
feel inconsolable doubt one night in particular
go for a walk
suddenly realise that you have confused your ability to read and enjoy or appreciate a book with your ability to write
make some money doing a job
start writing
slowly realise that you might be able to write something
join the internet
see many people writing
make a tumblr devoted to the books you read
gain 24 notes on a funny review of a book in which you compare reading the book to sipping on a can of diet coca cola
feel confident
feel funny
feel intelligent
feel sense of entitlement
spend full days in front of the internet
feel part of the ever-changing collection of information on your screen
get rejected by literary journals
make a blog post about how many times you have been rejected by literary journals
get 12 notes
feel depressed
feel jealous
feel inadequate
feel doubt and fear that you have come nowhere since you started writing
reach out to people on the internet
make an internet friend called elise
tell elise about your grandparents
read elise's emails about her earliest memories
travel to where elise lives to meet her
have lunch with elise
have sex with elise
spend 3 months doing things with elise
spend 1 day alone when elise returns to university
spend 1 afternoon messaging elise while she is at university
feel insecure
spend 1 night awake while elise lies next to you and decide you do not want to feel insecure
leave elise and go to your parents house
live with your parents for 3 weeks
go away for the weekend with old friends
return to the city
find an apartment
start a new tumblr
start writing about your experiences on the internet
start using the language of the internet to write
write a poem about twitter and use words like 'irl' in a way that is sincere in the sense that you use the word 'irl' all the time but also slightly ironic in that poetry is supposed to be a place where internet acronyms are not allowed
feel freed from convention
hand write a poem about the internet
read it 14 times in one day
decide that it is the best thing you've ever written, that everything else has lead up to this point, that it would be a good idea to delete all other poems you've ever written
delete old poems off hard drive
start writing a handwritten poem about the internet every day for 72 days
read them to your sister
laugh insecurely when your sister isn't amazed by your poems and say yeh maybe they're not that good but secretly think that your sister doesn't spend enough time on the internet and couldn't understand them
start taking pictures of your 72 handwritten internet poems and posting them online
start getting followers
get 215 new followers
get featured on #poetry on tumblr
receive 140000 notes in 24 hours
type up your 72 handwritten internet poems
get a friend from high school who has since become a successful graphic designer to help you lay the poems out in a design that is easily readable
collate the newly designed poems into a pdf and give it a title
the title should be '72 handwritten internet poems'
start sending the pdf to various small press publishers
start an excel spreadsheet that documents all the places you send your pdf
get 34 rejections
get an email while sitting on a toilet in a bar while drunk that says your pdf has been accepted by a publisher of online e books
be happy and relieved
read the email another two times
flush the toilet
tell your friends
promote your e book online
get interviewed by a few small literary blogs
get a girlfriend
start calling your girlfriend your partner
feel happy
feel good
feel anxious
feel dissatisfied
go for a walk one night and panic when you see a broken chessboard on the sidewalk
become obsessed with the fact a pawn in the game of chess doesn't have to move in the way it does, that it could move in any direction, that it could be replaced with any other material or shape, and that language and words are exactly the same and that your poems, your writing, are meaningless
watch your partner's disinterest in your existential crisis
watch you ruin your relationship
travel
meet someone in india
come home
train to become a nurse
become a nurse
start working as a nurse in a hospital
feel sedated and part of the unchanging pile of mass and energy pulsating through the universe
die
get buried
decompose
become diffuse among various organic materials on earth
be there as a collection of diffuse organic materials when humanity ends
be there as a collection of diffuse organic materials when planet earth ends
explode outwards into space with planet earth
become diffuse among the various chemicals in the universe
become more and more dispersed
undergo unknowable transformations over unknowable lengths of time
for a brief time become part of the consciousness of some super intelligent life form
observe that all previous intelligent data on earth has been accumulated by this super intelligent life force
view your e book of poetry again amidst the troves of intelligent data
be there when the super intelligent life form disintegrates for a reason beyond your comprehension
become diffuse consciousness in the universe
become reduced entirely to hydrogen atoms floating billions of light years away from each other
spend many eternities doing unknown things
start vibrating rapidly
become infinitely fast and infinitely hot
end in a way that is, by definition, unknowable
|