Broke the coffee pot (shitty coffee pot). Just the glass part. Not the plastic part. Not the part where the glugging sound comes from, like, where the coffee comes out. The glass part, where the coffee goes into, that's the part I broke. But it's an important part. The whole thing is unusable.
Eating five cookies. There's no coffee. And I'm so thirsty. I can barely breathe, because of all the crumbs from the cookies, and there's no coffee or water (the sink is also broken).
My kids are asking where the coffee is. I have to make something up. I lie to them. I tell them that the coffee is on its way. They ask about the glugging sound, there's no glugging sound, and I try to glug for them while looking away. I look at the wall, then the place where the coffee pot is. I try to obscure the broken glass and make a glugging sound with my mouth. But the crumbs. Cookie crumbs. It comes out like this: klukha kha spatka kla. They press the issue: that's not a glugging sound. I'm starting to freak out. I think about the phrase starting to freak out. I feel like I'm starting to freak out but in a way where it's spelled stratting to frake out. I can't swallow any of the cookies. I try to spit out the crumbs. Too many cookies. Can't breathe. The kids can't breathe either. No, they're ok. Straking to frrk out. I've been breathing the whole time. I'm trying to glug, also. Klkha pla pla tspkla. The kids keep saying things but I can't understand them. There's crumbs and glass and no fucking coffee.
"There's no fucking coffee!" I yell. But it sounds like this: keres mo flugling khalkfla. The kids don't know what the fuck. I open and close the cabinets (shitty cabinets). I think that's something you should do in this situation, like, from a movie I saw once. An instructional video? I see that there are more cookies. Oh my god, there are, like, eight more cookies in the cabinet. I think about my parents. They died when I was fourteen. I try to cram the eight cookies into my mouth while turning around, slowly. I look at my kids with one wide-open eye while eating thirteen cookies and they look at me and they all look like one big face and the face is mouthing the words: graalgha plargol nngaa. And I feel nervous because I don't know what that means.