Jul 5
hope someone live-tweets my funeral and uses the hashtag 'willisdead'

Jul 15
someone from the drum n bass party in the living room just flooded the bathroom with urine

Jul 17
children's song titled 'if you're happy and you know it, you've never had sex with me'

Jun 17
time traveling three hours into the future via drugging myself

Aug 9
someone just yelled at me to get ready for my breast implants

Aug 15
just googled 'what is the point of a tiny sauce pan'

Aug 21
klonopin induced inability to disembark the plane without falling over

Aug 22
rick ross shrugs three times, rolls his shoulders back, grunts twice, and leaves the bathroom unsure whether he truly believes

Aug 24
feel like i can't smile because my mustache is too heavy

Sep 2
jock at my high school used to say 'so many cocks in my ass' to suggest that he was in a frustrating or uncomfortable situation

Sep 14
just nicknamed someone 'bird-shit danny'

Sep 29
turns out you can't just write 'xanax' on a piece of paper and hand it to the pharmacist and get xanax here

Oct 1
feel like a sim that has to pee/has just pissed itself. except substitute the pissing with hitting my head on every surface in my home

Oct 2
i want a macarthur grant to take adderall and browse the internet

Oct 3
tao lin idly masturbating while browsing the xanax tag on tumblr

Oct 4
my psychiatrist collects clocks and they all tick at different intervals. seems like a good business strategy

Oct 6
on xanax trying to imagine dying. pretty convinced we don't really die

Oct 8
ppl cry during yoga because of hurt stored in muscles. ppl cry during emails for same reason

Oct 8
DNHC: desperately need human contact

Oct 8
pretending twin mattress is obese girlfriend #DNHC

Oct 8
the only country where you can hide from your feelings is xanax

Oct 9
want to give the world the silent treatment but i know it would be okay with that

Oct 9
dropped xanax. spent 5 mins on hands and knees. took off shoes i was wearing and checked in them. now, not taking drugs as punishment

Oct 9
don't cry over spilled xanax

Oct 9
the great xanax hunt of 2012

Oct 12
the xanax before time

Oct 12
xanax jesus warrior princess

Oct 14
adderall tooth fairy

Oct 14
spiderman who shoots webs of pcp

Oct 15
intense fear of xanax coma where i wake up with macbook split in half via lying on it so it doesn't close.

Oct 15
tweeting at you bitches is like jacking off in the dark. where's the love?

Oct 15
i keep tellin' bitches that the smell is part of the appeal, but it's not working. what am i doin' wrong?

Oct 16
presidential debate where the moderator is on pcp

Oct 16
hare krishna selling pot brownies, klonopin, and adderall in front of bobst

Oct 16
voting feels like the SATS in nightmares where you don't speak korean and you're taking the korean SATS

Oct 16
can't remember the last time i didn't take drugs

Oct 17
just hallucinated a picture of a horse onto my macbook screen. i can still sort of see the horse...