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I was in Montana, driving down the highway. There
were those concrete median things on both sides.
The shoulders disappeared so I had to drive
carefully, close to the concrete things. Then it went
from four lanes to three lanes to two lanes and then
finally one lane. I was the only car going east bound
as far as I could see. The concrete median things
crept closer and closer. I had to slow down. The road
was pretty narrow. I felt like I was almost through,
like I just had to drive a little bit more and then things
would open up again, so I drove very slowly and with
a great deal of concentration. I leaned forward with
my eyes wide open. I turned off the music. But I
started bumping into the medians. Just a little bit.
And, each time, I'd jerk the wheel to correct, but then
bump the other median, and do it again, back and
forth. I felt ok about it, though. I felt like there was
nothing else I could do. I was doing my best trying to
make it through. It didn't feel like my fault. I
imagined reasoning with a judge in traffic court,
saying, The road just got so narrow, I figured whoever put
the medians up should have known this was inevitable
and then they should have done something to prevent it. I
imagined the judge agreeing with me. I drove slower
and slower as the medians got tighter and tighter.
Eventually the medians narrowed enough that they
were constantly scraping the sides of the car. I
thought I just had a little bit farther to go, so I kept
going. It seemed like it would end up fine because
none of this was my fault and I figured that paint is
just paint, or whatever, and I could get the car fixed. I
had some money saved up. I also didn't care about
the car, really. But eventually the car got completely
stuck, wedged between the two medians. I couldn't
go forward. I couldn't back up. I looked in the rearview
mirror and didn't see any cars coming. I turned
off the car. I imagined stupidly explaining to the tow
truck guy that I thought it was going to be fine so I
just kept driving. I climbed out of the sunroof and sat
on the top of the car. I looked out and saw the
medians merging into a nubby triangle of concrete
that poked out over a flat, endless expanse of blue
ocean. I was so fucking mad.
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